Never Able To Forget
by Surgery-Girl
Summary: At the beginning of her internship, she got pregnant. Almost five years later… MERALEX. AU. Full Summery inside. I posted a wrong chapter on this story ch. 30 , but I fixed it.
1. Across Country

_**Summery: At the beginning of her internship, she got pregnant. Almost five years later… She's the best in the Nuero program. She moves to Seattle with her best friend to continue her residency at Seattle Grace Hospital, where her step-father, Richard Webber is chief of surgery. When she gets there… a lot happens… MerAlex. I guess it would be AU.**_

"Meredith, are you listening?" Meredith jumped at the sound of her voice.

"What? Sorry, Maggie, I'm just… not feeling well."

"Why what's wrong?" Maggie asked out of genuine concern. Meredith shook her head.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just tired." She put her head down on the counter.

"Alright." Maggie said shrugging throwing a couple things into the trash. "I can't believe we're going to Seattle."

"It's a great opportunity." Meredith said with a sigh. "It's the top teaching hospital in the program."

"It's across country." Maggie argued.

"I can't do this alone, Mags" She sighed.

"I'm coming, Mer. Don't worry about it." Maggie said.

"We can live at my mom's old house. The kids will love it." Meredith said standing up.

"I'm going to bed." She called walking out.

"Alright, night."

"Goodnight." Maggie called.

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Meredith laid in bed remembering the day Maggie and she had met.

"_Hi." The woman said looking over at Meredith. _

"_Hey." Meredith said wiping a tear from her cheek. The curtain was mostly pushed back so they could see each other. Balloons, flowers, and gifts filled the other side of the room, but Meredith's side was empty. _

"_I'm Maggie Hogg." She introduced herself with a warm smile. She had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. _

"_Meredith Grey." Meredith said adjusting the IV in her hand. "Congratulations, by the way."_

"_Yeah you too." Maggie smiled again. "What did you have?"_

"_A boy."_

"_Oh, congratulations." Meredith smiled. "What is his name?"_

"_Carson," She answered._

"_Oh my god. That is such a cute name." Meredith smiled._

"_Thanks… What about you? What's your daughter's name?"_

"_Whitney." Maggie smiled. _

"_Is she with your husband or boyfriend or whatever?"_

"_Actually… I don't have either… My boyfriend left after he found out I was pregnant."_

"_Oh god, I'm sorry I didn't know."_

"_It's fine… What about you?"_

_Meredith looked down. "I'm not sure where he is. We were in med school together. He left for a different internship without telling me where before I found out about being pregnant."_

"_I'm sorry, too…. Where is Carson?"_

"_He's one and a half months premature. But he's doing remarkably well."_

"_That's good. Whitney is getting checked by the neonatal doctor. There was a small complication early on, so…"_

_Meredith nodded little did she know that Maggie would become the person who helped her through everything. That was a little over four years ago. _

Meredith rolled over on her side and fell asleep.

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"Mags!" Meredith called as they walked through the gate into the waiting room. She had a carry-on bag on one shoulder and was holding Carson in her other arm. The group had been separated in the sea off people.

"Right here, Mer." Maggie said coming up behind her carrying Whitney.

Carson had dark blondish brown hair and green-grey eyes. His hair was a little long falling over onto his forehead and sometimes into his eyes. Meredith could tell he was going to be a charmer as he got older. Whitney had dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

"Come on, let's get our luggage." Meredith said as her phone started to ring. She juggled with Carson and the bag pulling it out of her purse. "Hello?" She asked trying to hear over the people.

"Meredith?"

"Richard? Hey."

"Hey. I'm waiting for you in the pick up line."

"Alright. We're about to go get out luggage."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up and returned it to her bag. "Richard is waiting outside."

"Okay."

They got their bags.

"Mama, where's grandpa?" Carson asked using his finger to twiddle his hair.

"He's outside." She said. They headed out. Meredith spotted Richard leaning against his car. "There he is." She whispered to Carson.

"Grandpa." Carson said wiggling in Meredith's arms.

"Carson." He smiled walking over taking Carson from Meredith's arms. "Hey Mer." He gave her a hug and a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Richard, you remember Maggie and her daughter Whitney."

Richard nodded. "Yep, it's great to see you guys again."

"You too, Richard."

"Come on, let's go." Meredith said excited to get to the house. They got in the car.

"Mer, I need you to come to the hospital to sign the remained of the papers."

"Can we got to the house first, so I can get my car? I'm needed at the firm." Maggie asked.

"Are you taking Whitney?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah."

"Then, I guess we'll have to take Carson to, Richard." Meredith said looking at Richard.

"I'm always happy to spend time with Carson."


	2. Meet The Residents

Christina Yang, Izzie Stevens, George O'Malley, and Alex Kerev started their internship together. Now, they were all second year residents. They all stood on the overpass looking out the window awaiting the arrival of the newest resident.

"God, why does he have to bring in another resident?" Christina said letting out a groan.

"From what I heard, it's his step-daughter." Izzie said looking at her.

"Great, a stupid resident that only got here because she has a step-father in high places." Christina groaned again.

"She's top of the program on the east coast." George interjected.

"And it all comes out, Yang is afraid she's going to be shown up." Alex laughed causing Christina to roll her eyes. "I just hope she's hot."

"What are we doing?" Mark Sloan asked walking up.

"Trying to see if the new resident is a babe or not." Alex smirked. Mark chuckled and joined them down the line.

"Shut it, Evil Spawn." Christina growled.

"Oh there's the Chief's car." Izzie said pointing as the car pulled into the parking lot. Another followed close behind it. They watched as they parked. Richard got out of one and walked towards the black SUV. The door opened and Meredith stepped out. She was close enough for everyone to see.

"She's a babe." Alex said with a big grin. It fell once he noticed she opened the back door and a young boy jumped out with the help of his mother. "She's a mother."

"Aw, is evil spawn heart broken?" Christina mocked turning around and leaned on it the bar. "I don't have to worry about a mother showing me up."

"Tough break." Mark sighed patting Alex's shoulder before walking off.

"Yeah." He sighed and walked the opposite direction.

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She walked into Richard's office holding Carson's hand.

"So who's the head of Nuero?" She asked shutting the door.

"Dr. Derek Shepherd." Richard answered grabbing a packet of papers and handed it to Meredith.

"Mama, I'm hungry." Carson said tugging on her shirt.

"We can go grab something in the café while you do that, Mer." Richard offered. Meredith nodded and they headed out.

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Meredith found a table while Richard got them all food with Carson. She sat down and started to read the contract.

"Hi, I'm Izzie Stevens." A voice came from behind her. Meredith turned her head to look at the blonde.

"Hi… I'm Meredith."

"You're the new resident?" She asked sitting down. Meredith nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

"What specialty?"

"Nuero."

"I'm a neonatal surgeon resident." She replied. Meredith nodded. "Where are you from?"

"Boston."

"Cool, why don't you come meet the other residents?"

"I, ah, rather not."

"Come on." She pulled her arm. Meredith sighed and got up.

"Guys." Izzie said approaching the table. "This is Meredith."

"Christina Yang, Cardio."

"Nuero." Meredith said quietly shaking her hand.

"George O'Malley, Ortho." She shook his hand.

"Alex Kerev, plastics." He said cockily extending his hand. Meredith eyes widen.

"Did you say Kerev?"

"Yeah…" Alex said making a confused face. She felt like she was going to throw up. Her heart stopped for a minute. She turned and hurried away knowing Richard would watch Carson.

"What did you do?" Izzie said hitting his arm.

"Nothing." Alex said making a weird face.

"Did any of you guys see Meredith?" Richard asked walking up holding Carson's hand.

"She just ran off." Christina said. Richard made a confused face and sat down figuring she would be back soon.

About ten minutes, she returned. Her eyes were red and puffy and her make-up was gone. Richard stood up as she came into the café.

"What happened?" He said noticing her appearance.

"Nothing." She shook her head sniffling. She avoided eye contact with the group. She picked up the pen and quickly signed the contract. "Come on, Carson."

"Where are you going?" Richard asked.

"I should get home." Meredith said glancing at the group before looking back at Richard. "I'll call you." With that she turned and walked away.


	3. First Day

"He's here." Meredith said once Whitney and Carson were in bed. She paced the kitchen as Maggie unpacked the glasses and put them in the cupboard.

"Who?"

"Alex Kerev." She said running her hands through her hair.

"Carson's father?"

Meredith nodded. "How am I supposed to face him?" She said burying her head into her hands.

"Does Richard know?"

Meredith shook her head. "I never told him who his father is."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "Go to work and see where it goes… How was the firm?"

"Good." She smiled and nodded.

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She pulled on some nicely fitted jeans and a lavender sweater shirt. It was only 5:30 in the morning, but she had to get to the hospital early. She walked into Carson's room, woke him, and helped him get dressed for his first day at daycare.

"Mags? We're leaving."

"Alright, Mer, good luck."

"You too. I'll see you tonight."

"Okay." Maggie yelled as Meredith walked out carrying Carson and her purse. Her phone started to ring as she turned on the car.

"Hello?"

"Mer?"

"Hey Richard."

"Hey, are you on your way?"

"Yep."

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and tossed her phone back in her purse. Moments later, she pulled into the hospital parking lot. She glanced in the review mirror to see Carson was asleep. She put it in park and stared at him through the mirror before sighing and getting out. She carefully lifted him from the car and walked towards the entrance.

Richard was waiting for her in the lobby. He took Carson upstairs to the daycare for her so she would be on time. She made her way to the locker room. She made her way to her locker to find it was in the same row as the residents from the previous day. She didn't say anything as she opened the locker. She avoided eye contact with them all though they were trying to get some. She put her back in the locker before taking out a pair of scrubs Richard had put in there.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" Izzie asked. Meredith didn't look at her but nodded.

"I'm fine." She was trying not to cry again. She pulled off her shirt looking down turning quickly remembering the tattoo on her lower back that she had gotten as an act of rebelling against her mother. She wasn't sure if Alex would remember it since he was with her when she got it. She couldn't risk it. She slipped on a tank top covering it before pulled her scrub shirt on and quickly put on her scrub pants. Grabbing her stethoscope and badge, she walked out.

"Okay, bye." Izzie said sighing. "What do you think is wrong with her?"

The others shrugged finishing getting ready before walking out.

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She sat reading up on a surgery she was going to perform later that day. It was surprisingly a sunny day so she decided to sit on the patio. She sighed pulling her jacket closer to her body and taking a sip of her coffee. She felt someone looking over her shoulder. She glanced back to see her attending standing behind her.

"Yes Dr. Shepherd." She said turning back to her books. He took this as an invitation to sit down across from her. She raised her eyebrow at him but looked back down at the book. "Can I help you with something, Dr. Shepherd?" She asked not removing her eyes from the book.

"No, I just thought I would come and sit here." He said giving her a dreamy smirk, but it didn't work.

"Well, that's very nice of you, but I'm busy reading about a surgery."

"Ah, yes, the spinal surgery." She nodded not really paying attention but figuring that he was her superior so she should at least answer him. "What route are you taking on it?"

"I'm going in through the back, I think."

"Well, if you don't mind, I would recommend you go in through the neck."

"Well, with all due respect, it's my decision and I feel more comfortable doing it directly." She said shutting her books and leaning back to throw her cup away. He chuckled.

"It is your decision. The best surgeons are confident about their course of action."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." She sighed. "I should go."

"Uh, Dr. Grey?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd." She asked looking at him.

"Would you like to get a drink after work?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd. I can't." She gave him a smile before walking away.


	4. Chatting

Lunch rolled around. Richard was in surgery so she didn't have anyone to sit with. She sat at an empty table and began eating. She felt like some one was looking at her. She glanced up to see Christina standing there. She didn't say anything before sitting at the table.

"You have a spinal surgery today." Christina said more as a statement than a question. Meredith nodded. "How did you come in here and on your first day start surgery?"

"It has nothing to do with my step-father." Meredith sighed assuming that was what she was getting at.

"I figured that. You were on the top back in Boston. Why'd you just through that away to come here?" Christina said having genuine wonder. Meredith shrugged.

"Just needed a change… After Mom died, Richard wanted me near." She shrugged again. Christina nodded.

"Hey, mind if we sit?" Izzie asked. Both nodded not really looking. Izzie and George sat at the table.

"How's your first day, Meredith?" George asked.

"Good, I guess." She said. Her phone started to ring. "Excuse me." She stood up and walked away. "Hey Mags."

"It's Whitney."

"Oh, Whitney, why do you have you mom's phone?" She asked.

"Whitney. Give me back my phone." There were a couple muffled noises. "Hello? Mer?"

"Mags? What's going on?"

"Nothing, Whitney got a hold of my phone. But, I have to go."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye." She hung up shaking her head returning the phone to her pocket. She sat back down. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Izzie said smiling at her. Meredith continued to pick through her salad deciding to break the silence.

"Where are you guys from?" She didn't look at them but more at her food.

"Beverly Hills." Christina answered.

"Modoc, California." Izzie said.

"Bellevue." George answered. The chair beside him moved and Alex slipped in. Meredith glanced at him not noticing who it was. Doing a double take she noticed causing her quickly jumped up. They all looked up at her.

"I, uh, got to go." She muttered gathering what her stuff. They all looked questioningly as she hurried off.

"What is with that chick?" Alex laughed taking a huge bite of his hamburger.

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Meredith walked down the hall and hurried up the stairs to where she was supposed to meet Derek after surgery. She got to the third floor just as the door was opening. Alex came out.

"Hey." He said nodding at her.

"Hey." She said quietly hurrying up the stairs. He watched her confused before shaking his head and walking down the stairs.

She rolled her eyes spotting Derek at the nurses' station. He was leaning on it being all dreamy. It didn't affect her. She walked up and sighed.

"Dr. Shepherd?" She said shifting from foot to foot. "I just got out of surgery."

"How did it go coming direct?" She rolled her eyes.

"The patient is doing fine." She sighed. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"You could accept my offer for a date."

"I'm not interested, Dr. Shepherd. I can't get involved with anyone right now. Is there anything I can do for you that is related to work?"

"No, you can go."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Shepherd."

"You too, Dr. Grey."


	5. What Is Your Problem?

She walked into the locker room. Alex glanced up meeting her eyes for less than a second as she opened her locker. She pulled her clothes out and grabbed her bag throwing it on the bench. She pulled off her top quickly pulling her tank top down so her back wouldn't show. Quickly, she pulled on her pants and top before grabbing her bag. Alex watched as she walked towards the door.

"What is your problem?" He said making her turn around with a confused face. "You leave every time you see me. You don't have to associate with me, but we work together. We have to be professional here."

She just looked at him for a second before turning but stopped on her way through the door. It looked like she was going to say something, but she decided not to and walked out. He sighed and turned back to his locker.

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She sat by the window as tears rolled down her face.

"_I love you." He said kissing her cheek. "I will always love you." He kissed her softly on the lips. She reached up and touched his cheek. _

"_I love you too, Alex." She kissed him lightly. He put his arm around her waist as she moved closer to him. Her eyes fell shut. "Don't ever leave me."_

She started to cry harder trying to shake the memories she tried so hard to forget from her head. The door opened and she glanced over to see who was coming in. Carson stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing up, Buddy?" She asked wiping her eyes and sniffling.

"There's a monster under my bed." He said hurrying over to her. She giggled but the tears still flowed from her eyes.

"There's no such thing as monsters." He shook his head and stood in front of her.

"I love you, Mommy."

She sniffled trying to keep from crying anymore. "I love you too, Baby." She pulled him into her arms and rested her head on the top of his. "I love you so much."

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"It's fine. You made it all better." She said.

"Can I sleep in here?"

"Sure." She smiled at him as he ran and struggled to get on the bed. He eventually got up and snuggled into a spot. She stood up and walked over slipping into her spot.

"Good Night Mommy." He yawned.

"Good Night Baby." She kissed his cheek and rolled onto her side.

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She woke up the next day and got ready.

"Mags?" She called walking down the stairs.

"Good Morning." She called from the kitchen.

"You're off today right?" She asked walking into the kitchen. Maggie nodded. "Can you watch Carson today?"

"Yeah, of coarse." Meredith quickly poured herself coffee. "I have to go."

"Bye."

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"Hey, page that new Nuero resident." Alex said to a nurse who nodded and walked out. He realized that he didn't even know what her last name was, so he just shrugged it off.

"Why do we need a Neurological consult?" The patient, Miss. Johnson, asked Alex.

"We just need to rule out any brain damage before scheduling a surgery to reconstruct your face." Alex said smiling at her.

"You paged?" She asked as she walked in looking at Alex for a second.

"Nuero consult." He informed her. "Miss Johnson, 29, was in a car accident yesterday. Dr. Sloan wants to do reconstructive surgery. I already took the liberty of getting an MRI and CT."

"Thank you, Dr. Kerev." She said. "Where are the results?"

"Right here." He handed it to her. She looked it over. "We're waiting on blood results."

She nodded still studying the picture. "How much longer should they be?"

"Any minute now."

"Alright. Miss. Johnson, your MRI and CT are clear. I just want to wait until I see your blood results before Dr. Kerev and Dr. Sloan do surgery."

The patient nodded looking down at her arm. "Doctors?" They both turned and looked at her. "How long is it supposed to take for this to stop bleeding?"

"What?" Meredith said walking over and pulled the gauze back for where they took blood to see it still gushing. "Miss. Johnson, do you take blood thinners for any reason?"

"Yes, I have a clotting disorder."

"Alright it's just a reaction to that." She said. "I'll see you when your blood comes back."

She walked out. Alex followed. She looked down noticing that she had gotten some blood on her clothes.

"You aren't going to give her anything for the bleeding?" He asked as she signed a chart at the nurses' station.

"It will stop soon." She said. "I have to go." She didn't look at him again as she walked towards the locker room. He followed.


	6. Quarantine

She took off her scrub top and searched her locker for another. The door opened and Alex walked in. She didn't look at him.

"Seriously?" He said. "You can't spend five minutes with me even to discuss a patient."

She didn't say anything as she pulled one out tossing the old one in the hamper.

"What is it about me that you can't stand?" Alex asked.

She still refused to speak.

"Fine." He sighed and headed to the door. He opened it to see the opening was covered with plastic. "What the…?"

"Are you two Dr. Kerev and Dr. Grey?" They both nodded. "Emily Johnson's results came back. There are some potentially toxic things in it. You're being quarantine."

"What?" Meredith and Alex said at the same time.

"Sorry. Until we clear this… you stay here. Enjoy." He said and walked away.

"Just fucking beautiful." Meredith sighed and slammed her locker. She opened her phone and dialed a number. Alex watched as she fell back onto the bench. "Mags?"

"Hey, Mer." Maggie said.

"How's Carson?" She asked.

"He's fine. He and Whitney are outside."

"Well, I've been quarantine."

"Why?"

"Toxins in a patient, so I don't know when I'll be home. Will you be okay with them?"

"Yep."

"Thanks. I'll call you later."

"Alright, Bye."

"Bye." She hung up and tossed her phone into her bag. "Just fucking beautiful."

They sat in silence. "I guess there's no avoiding me, now." He said sitting on the floor. She didn't want to look at him.

"Meredith?" Richard's voice came.

"Hey, Richard." Meredith said not bothering to get up.

"Is Maggie watching Carson?"

"Yeah."

"Do you guys need anything?"

"A way to get out of quarantine." Alex said.

"Sorry." His pager went off. "I have to go. Page if you need anything."

Meredith stood up and walked to the other side of the lockers so there was a wall of them between them. She slide down the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest letting out a long sigh. She didn't want to remember. But he was there. She tried to block the thoughts out of her head, but she couldn't.

_She woke up expecting him to be beside her like he always was, but when she lifted her head she found the room empty. She stood up in confusion grabbing her robe and walking out. She headed down the stairs to the kitchen of the townhouse Ellis had brought her, her first year at Dartmouth. _

"_Alex?" She called but got no answer. "Alex?"_

_She spotted a note on the counter with her name written in his handwriting on it. She picked it up and looked at it. The note fell out of her hand and floated to the ground. _

Tears rolled down her cheeks. It still hurt so badly after all this time. Five years and it still hurt so badly. Even after all this time, she still remembered what it felt like to be in his arms. She remembered what it felt like when he kissed her. She still remembered how much she truly loved Alex Kerev.

He came around the lockers and saw Meredith sobbing on the floor.

"_Mer? What's wrong?" He asked his girl friend as she sat on the floor and sobbed. _

"_Mom." She gasped. "Has Alzheimer's."_

_He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her small body. _

_-----_

"_Are you two Dr. Kerev and Dr. Grey?" The man asked._

_----_

"_She's top of the program on the east coast." George said as they waited for the new resident. _

_----_

He looked at Meredith and it was like it all made sense. He came and sat next to her, but she pushed him away.

"Meredith." He said in a low voice reaching for her.

"No, Alex, don't touch me." She sobbed.

"Mer…"

"Don't call me that. Don't touch me. Don't pretend like you care. Okay? Just go on and be Dr. Kerev and I'll go on being Dr. Grey." She yelled.

"Just talk to me. Let me explain."

"I don't want your explanation. It's been five years."

"Please, Meredith… I'm so sorry."

She stood up. "I loved you in a big way and you just left." She shook her head and walked to the other side of the locker room. Her eyes fell shut as a couple tear rolled down her cheek.

"You guys can go." A man said pulling down the plastic. Meredith grabbed her bag and ran out before Alex could say anything.


	7. Wake Up Call

She walked into his office trying not to cry. He looked up as she walked in then back down at the doctor sitting across from her.

"Meredith, I'm in…"

"I need a couple days off." He looked back up at her.

"You just started working here."

"Richard, I need sometime off." She said as tears started to roll down her cheek. "I really need some time off."

"Will you excuse us?" He asked the doctor. The doctor nodded and headed into the hall.

"Tell me what's going on?" Meredith paced the room, not saying anything. "You need to tell me what's going on."

"Alex Kerev is Carson's father." She blurted out. Richard's mouth fell open as he sat back in his chair.

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She let the door shut behind her as she walked into the house.

"Mags?" She yelled. "Mags? Where are you?"

"Up here, Mer." She yelled from upstairs. Meredith hurried up the stairs opening the door to Whitney's room to see Maggie, Whitney, and Carson playing on the floor.

"Mama." Carson said hurrying over and hugging her legs.

"Hey," She lifted him up and kissed his cheek. "Did you have fun today?"

"Yep." Carson nodded vigorously.

"Good." She kissed his cheek again and let him down.

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_That night…_

Meredith was sitting at the bar staring blankly at the patterns in the marble waiting for Maggie to get back from putting Whitney to bed after a bath.

"Alright, she's in bed." Maggie announced as she came in. "Mer? You okay?"

"He knows who I am." It took a second for it to click in Maggie's head.

"Does he know about Carson?" Meredith quickly shook her head.

"I'm taking a few days off." She laid her head down and let her eyes fall shut. "I don't know what to do." Her voice was just above a whisper. A couple of tears rolled down her cheek and onto the counter top. "I have to tell him."

"You can do whatever you want." Maggie said as Meredith sat up.

"Look at Carson, Mags. He's a spitting image of Alex."

"I don't know what Alex looks like."

"I'm going to bed." She stood up and shuffled out of the kitchen. "Night, Mags."

"Night, Mer."

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"Maggie." Meredith called getting no answer. She sighed walking down the hall and opening the door to Maggie's room. "Mags? Why are you still in bed?"

Maggie didn't move. Meredith walked over to the bed and shook her shoulder, but still got no response. She threw back the cover and looked at her.

"Mags wake up. Maggie!" She was now yelling and shaking her again, when she finally realized she wasn't waking up. Doctor mode took over and she quickly tried finding her pulse on her neck. "Maggie." She continued to try and wake her up. She found the pulse and it was barely abnormal at all. She grabbed her phone and quickly dialed 911.

"9-1-1 operator, what is you're emergency?"

"My friend, she won't wake up. Her pulse seemed normal and so is her breathing."

"Are you a doctor?"

"Yes. Send an ambulance!" She almost yelled.

"Where are you?"

"8281 Savannah Lane."


	8. Do You Want To Proceed?

"What do we have?" Alex asked standing in the pit.

"Thirty year old woman, found by her friend unconscious in bed."

"Name?" Alex said hurrying along beside them.

"Margaret Hogg." The paramedic answered as they pushed her.

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"Where is Maggie?" Meredith said frantically running up to Richard. She held Whitney in her arms and held Carson's hand.

"Shepherd is about to take her up to CT and MRI." He said.

Meredith fell back in a seat letting Whitney down to the floor and rubbed her eyes.

"Grandpa! Grandpa!" Carson cheered.

Richard picked him up pushing his thick hair out of his eyes.

"Is she going to be okay?" Meredith finally asked.

"We have to wait for the tests, Mer."

"Chief?" He said walking up glancing back at her.

"How is Maggie?" She asked standing up quickly.

"Dr. Grey? Aren't you off today?" He said glancing at the two kids. Richard let Meredith take Carson as he straightened his lab coat to look professional.

"I'm a close friend of Maggie's, Dr. Shepherd."

"She's up in CT and MRI with an intern."

Meredith nodded. "I'm going to go get some air. Carson, Whitney." She took their hands and led them off.

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She dropped the kids at the daycare and was on her way to the café to get a cup of coffee. As she walked down the hall, everything was replaying in her head. Everything from Alex to Maggie. She slipped into the nearest on-call room shutting the door behind her not bothering to turn on the light. She fell back onto the bed. Her head thudded against the wood of the wood of the top bunk. She fell back onto the bed holding the spot she hit it as tears started to roll down her eyes and she started to gasp for air. The door opened but she didn't notice. The light fell on her eyes causing her to look over to see Alex standing there. She sat up quickly banging her head on the top bunk again.

"Damn it." She cried falling back. He flicked the light on and hurried over.

"Are you okay?" He quickly asked touching her head to see if there was a bump.

"I'm fine." She hissed jerking away from his hand.

"Meredith…"

She stood up careful not to hit her head again. She looked at him and his eyes were begging her to stay. She shook her head averting her eyes to the ground.

"Meredith, please."

"There's nothing to talk about, Alex. It was five years ago." She opened the door to walk out but glanced back at him as if to say something. She sighed and walked out.

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"Any news?" She asked standing as Derek walked into the room.

"We got the results back…" He started but stopped short.

"And?"

"And we found a tumor." She fell back into the chair as silence hung in the air he decided to continue. "It's… It's in a tough place."

"Talk to me like a doctor, Dr. Shepherd."

"It's in the frontal lobe. She could lose mobility, speech, and emotions." A couple tears down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Meredith. You need to decide weather or not you want to proceed."

"She's a mom and you're the best." She sighed and nodded. "Yes, I want to proceed." He nodded and handed her a consent form. She looked at it and signed it before handing it back. She looked over at Maggie and took her hand.


	9. He Couldn't Be Right?

She walked up to daycare after Maggie was taken to surgery. It was getting to be almost one. She decided to take Carson and Whitney to the café to get some food.

"Mama." Carson said hurrying over to the door.

"Hey." She said hoping they wouldn't notice how puffy her eyes were. But she knew they wouldn't pick up on it meaning she had been crying.

"Meredith." Whitney said joining the two. "Where's Mama?" Meredith crouched down.

"Mama is sick and the doctors are trying to make her better."

"Did you kiss her boo-boo? It makes it all better."

Meredith smiled as her eyes filled with tears. "Yes, I kissed her boo-boo but Mama needs a little more then a kiss. Are you two hungry?"

They both nodded. Meredith took both their hands and they left.

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She sat down after helping the kids into seats and put some food in front of them. She picked through her salad as they at chicken fingers. Reaching over, she pushed the hair out of Carson's eyes.

"Thank you, Mama."

"You're welcome, Baby."

Her head was resting on her hand.

"Two kids? I thought you only had one." Someone's voice came.

_Damn it. _"Yeah I do." She answered looking at Izzie. "Whitney is my friend's daughter."

"Oh where is she?"

"In surgery."

"She's a surgeon?"

Meredith's eyes filled with tears. "No she has a brain tumor."

Izzie gasped. "Oh I am so sorry, Meredith. I didn't know."

"No, it's fine." She looked over at Whitney. Izzie had sat down with them.

"Who are you?" Carson asked.

"I'm Izzie. What's your name?"

"Carson." He answered.

"You must be Whitney."

Whitney nodded. "Mommy has a boo-boo."

"Oh I'm sorry." Izzie said. "They're so cute, Meredith. How old are they?"

"Thank you and they're four." Meredith smiled.

"Were you pregnant during your internship?"

Meredith nodded. She noticed Alex and Christina walking towards the table causing her to stand up. "I need to go check on Maggie. Kids, time to go."

She picked up their food and threw it away as Alex and Christina got to the table. Meredith lifted the kids out of the seats and put them on the ground. "Bye."

"Meredith?" Alex pleaded and sighed as she hurried towards the door. He sighed and sat down.

"What did you do to her?" Christina asked sitting down.

"Something happened five years ago." He said watching as she disappeared.

"Doesn't she only have one kid?" Christina asked.

"One is her friend's. Maggie, I think. She's has a brain tumor. The kids are really cute. Carson is her son and Whitney is her friend's daughter. They're four."

Christina just nodded not listening and Alex was off in his own little world. Not noticing, Izzie continued. "Poor girl was pregnant during her internship."

"What?" Alex asked being pulled out of his thoughts.

"I said 'They're four. Poor girl was pregnant during her internship.' We're you listening?"

"_He couldn't be… could her?" Alex thought._


	10. Out Of Surgery

She sat in the room. The kids were sleeping on one of the beds together. Meredith was sitting in the chair between that bed and the space where Maggie's bed was going to go. She was rubbing her head having formed a headache from all the stress. It had been nearly six hours since Maggie had been taken into surgery. From what she figured, it would be another two or three hours. The kids had been going non-stop without a nap since six in morning when the kids decided to come in and jump on Meredith's bed. There was a quiet knock on the door and she looked up to see who was coming in.

"How are you doing?" Richard asked. Meredith squeezed her eyes trying to make her vision less foggy.

"Stressed as hell. Worried."

"Do you need anything?"

She shook her head. "She helped me through the worse of times after Carson was born. What if she doesn't make it?" She cried.

"She'll make it." He rested his hand on her shoulder. "I don't know what to do with Carson and Alex and…" She wiped her eyes. "What kind of mother am I? I'm keeping my son from his father."

"You're a great mother. You're protecting him."

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_Two hours later…_

"Dr. Grey?" Derek said walking in noticing the two kids sleeping he lowered his voice. "How is she?"

"She made it through surgery. They're bringing her here now."

"Were there any complications?"

"She crashed once during surgery." He said after a few seconds. "As for any complications now… I'm not sure."

She nodded and looked over his shoulder to see a couple of nurses wheeling in Maggie.

"Mags." She said hurrying to the bed even though she was still unconscious.

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_The next day…_

She got up early even though she didn't fall asleep until nearly one in the morning just incase Maggie woke up. Eventually she could resist the sleep any longer and she fell into a deep sleep in the uncomfortable rock of a chair. When she opened her eyes to the sound of the door opening, she rubbed her hand over her face and yawned as Alex walked in.

"I'm just checking on her vitals." He said quickly noticing she was waking up.

"Why? You're a plastic surgeon."

"Pit is full. Nuero is all down there. Doing a favor for Shepherd."

She looked back at the bed to see the kids were starting to move around meaning they were going to wake up soon.

"That your son?"

"Yeah." She smiled but still looked at the kids. "What are you doing here, Alex?"

"What do you mean?" He said looking at her.

"Here? With me? Talking to me like that?"

"I'm trying to make conversation. I want us to be okay."

"I just need time and..." She sighed. "I just need time to get everything right in my head. Between this and Maggie and everything. I just can't think."

"Mama." Carson's voice came. Meredith got up and walked over to the bed.

"Good Morning, Baby." She picked him up.

"Good Morning."

"Are you hungry?" He nodded. "We'll go get something when Whitney wakes up." She let him back down on the bed and looked at Alex. "Is everything okay? With her vitals?"

Alex looked over at her and nodded. "They're fine."

"So she should wake up soon?"

He looked at her again. "I hope so." His eyes fell to the two kids in the bed. Whitney was asleep still, but Carson was awake.

"Who are you?" Carson asked looking over at Alex.

"I'm Alex." He said waking towards them.

"I'm Carson A…"

"He's the doctor Carson." She said cutting him off knowing where it was going.

Carson's eyes grew wide. That's when Alex first noticed them. They were grey-green eyes with his hair falling down into them.

"Like Mommy?" He said. Meredith nodded looking back up at Alex. He was staring at Carson.

"Let's go see if we can page Grandpa." Meredith said lifting him to the ground. She walked passed Alex following Carson to the hall.


	11. Only One

She dropped the kids off at daycare and headed back down to Maggie's room. Adjusting herself on the uncomfortable rock of a chair, she took Maggie's hand into hers. She listened to the ventilator make the gasping noise as it pumped air down her throat. The heart monitor kept a steady beat.

"You need to wake up, Mags." A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at her friend's lifeless face. "You helped me get through everything with Carson and… Alex and just everything. If it weren't for you being in the bed across from me all those years ago, I would have never made it this long. I would have never gotten through all the shit, so Mags you need to wake up. Whitney needs you. I need you."

What she didn't notice was Alex standing in the doorway watching as she cried. He turned and walked down the hall his mind buzzing with questions he need to ask her, but now wasn't the time to ask them.

She stared up at Maggie's face as tears rolled down her face when her eyes fluttered open causing Meredith to jump to her feet.

"Mags? Mags, can you hear me?" She asked hovering over her. Maggie's eyes opened again and stared up at Meredith. In seconds, she started gagging on the tube down her throat. Meredith untapped it from around her mouth hitting the nurse call button. She pulled the tube out hoping for a word to be muttered from Maggie. She grabbed the oxygen mask as some nurses hurried in. "Mags? Are you okay?" She prayed for a word, any word, but Maggie didn't say anything. "Please say something, Mags." She pleaded as Derek walked in. "Say something."

"Meredith?" Maggie choked out.

"Thank the lord." Meredith cried hugging her carefully.

"How are you feeling Miss. Hogg?" Derek asked.

"Okay." She squeaked out.

"Your voice will be shaking, so you should try to rest it." Maggie nodded slowly. "Do you know why you're here?" Maggie shook her head. "I'm Dr. Shepherd. You had brain surgery." She looked over at Meredith. "You had a tumor."

"Cancer?" Maggie asked quietly.

"No, it wasn't cancerous." Derek said. "I believe we got it all. In a couple of days, we'll take you back to CT to be sure." Maggie nodded and everyone except Meredith left.

"Are you really okay?" She asked. Maggie nodded and gingerly touched her head feeling the bandages.

"Whitney?" She asked.

"She's fine. She's up in the daycare." Maggie nodded. "Get some rest. I'm going to go check on a few things."

Maggie nodded letting her eyes fall shut.

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"How's your friend?" Alex asked coming behind her causing her to jump. She turned to see who it was.

"Awake and can talk but we don't know about walking, yet." She sighed.

"Good." He said not leaving as she thought he would.

"What?"

"I still want to talk to you."

"About what?"

"What happened between us?"

"I loved you. Obviously you didn't feel the same way and you left." She started walking down the hall. "Conversation over."

"There's a lot more to it than that."

"What else is there, Alex? What is there I don't know?" She said not breaking her stride as she walked down an abandoned hall. He grabbed her arm so she had to turn around. "What?" She sighed but before she could say anything else he covered her lips with his. She didn't fight it as he wrapped his arms around her mostly because it felt so good to be in his arms again. She wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes, they pulled back to catch their breath.

"You're the only woman I've ever loved that much, Meredith." He said as tears rushed to her eyes. She turned and hurried off without another word.


	12. What Is Wrong With Me?

_**I'm sorry about this taking longer than I normally keep you waiting but I've had some problems in school with my grades being lower than normal. So, I've been studying twice as hard for some tests. **_

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

She slammed the on-call room door as she walked in. Sobs erupted from her mouth as her knees buckled. She fell into a squatting position throwing her arms over her head sobbing into her arms. She began gasping unable to get enough air into her lungs. Standing up, she began pacing back and forth. Reaching up with a shaky hand, she brushed the tears off her cheek.

"Meredith, are you in there?" His voice came from the other side of the door as he tried to twist the knob. She put her hands on the door as if the lock wouldn't hold the door shut. "Meredith," He begged. Her jaw shook violently as she sobbed. "Listen to me, please." She put her back to the door sliding down it. Bringing her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them burying her head into them. "Let me in, Mer. I'm begging you." She still didn't say anything.

Eventually, after thirty or forty minutes, she was sure he had left. She stood up straightening her clothes before walking up. There was something she had to do more than anything else.

Hurrying up the stairs, she robbed any wetness from her eyes. She stood at the window watching as Carson bounced a ball in the corner of the room. Whitney had been taken down to Maggie. Tears welled up in her eyes watching as her son played. He looked like his father and it hurt sometimes to know Alex might never know. Now, she felt like a terrible mother for not telling them. She put her head down on the glass as a couple of tears rolled down her cheek.

"What kind of mother am I?" She said to herself.

"Mama!" Carson hurried out the door to the hall. "Guess what?"

"What?" Meredith said putting on a smile hoping for it not to falter. Carson held up a piece of paper. Meredith took it and looked at it. There was a heart on it and a big "M" on it.

"Mrs. Jackson showed me how to. The "M" mean Mama." He gave her a proud grin. Tear welled up in her eyes again.

"Thank you." She sniffled before falling to her knees. She wrapped her arms around his small frame and started to cry into his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Mama?" He asked patting her head.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I just love you so much. Thank you so much." She kissed his cheek. "Come on." She sniffled. "Let's go see Maggie."

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Richard took the kids home to stay with them while Meredith stayed with Maggie. After Maggie fell asleep she headed down to the café to get some coffee. Even though it was dark out, she decided to sit on the patio. All day, she had Alex on her mind. She needed air. She needed to think. The moon was bright with surprised her since normally the moon was covered by thick, Seattle clouds. It was a little cool out but she didn't bother to put on a coat. Her eyes were focused on a tree off in the distance. It wasn't like she was thinking about the tree, but it was a blank stare.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" She said letting her eyes fall shut.

"I see nothing wrong with you…" She jumped at the sound of someone's voice.


	13. Can't Get It Out Of My Head

She looked over.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He smirked and sat down.

"Dr. Sloan, right?"

"Mark, just call me Mark."

"Okay, Mark." She sighed sipping her coffee. "Aren't you supposed to be an arrogant plastic surgeon? Why are you still here?"

"Late surgery." He shrugged. "Is everything okay?"

"Why do you care?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"From what I hear… you're an interesting girl…"

"You know what they say about rumors, right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you really want to know?" He nodded. She sighed. "I have a son by a man who doesn't know he has a son. My mother is dead. I haven't seen my real father in twenty years." She rubbed her face. "I think I'm going crazy with stress. My friend had a brain tumor and I still don't know if she's going to be okay. And if something were to happen to her… I don't know what I would do. Maggie is the only one who got me through the last four years. If something were to happen, Whitney would have nobody. I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"Wow…" Was all he could say.

"Yeah," She sighed.

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She woke up as the sun poured in through the blinks. Something hit her on the nose. She scrunched her nose up and rubbed it as she picked it up. Looking at it, her eyes adjusted to the light and she noticed it was a small piece of paper.

"What the hell?" She glanced at the bed as Maggie through another piece of paper at her. "Good Morning." She sighed. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess." Her voice was strong but still pretty weak.

"Good, anything I can get you?"

"Where's Whitney?"

"Richard has her at home. He has off but he can bring her in if you want."

"Later." She yawned. "I'm still tired."

"Get some more rest…" Meredith said.

"What happened last night?"

"What?"

"You were…" She coughed. "Crying."

"Nothing…"

"Since when do you not tell me anything?"

"Alex and I kissed and… I don't know what to do about Carson. I'm just… lost." She sighed. "Should I tell him?"

"About Carson?" Meredith nodded. "I don't know but… if had the chance to tell Brian about Whitney… I would want Whitney to have a father."

Meredith looked at the ground at the words soaked in. "I don't want him to be me. I don't want him to hold onto hope and Alex leave him."

"Sometimes you have to take a chance, Mer. I'm going back to sleep."

"Alright." She stood up. "I'll be back in a bit."

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She decided to do some work trying to keep her mind off of everything, but she couldn't seem to. Settling into a chair in a conference room, she flipped open a chart. It seemed nearly impossible to focus on what she was reading. The door opened and Derek walked in. Glancing up quickly at him before letting her eyes fall back to the papers, she rolled her eyes.

"Dr. Grey? Aren't you off today?"

"I'm staying with Maggie. I decided to do some paper to keep my mind off everything."

"You know what else would help you with that?"

"What?" She asked not looking at him.

"Drinks. With me. At Joe's."

"Dr. Shepherd, I respect you greatly. You're a brilliant surgeon and I am ecstatic that I get to learn what you have to teach me." A proud, cocky grin spread across her face. "But, like I said before, I'm not interesting in dating. My life is far too complicated to get involved with anyone right now."

"You say that now." He said giving her a McDreamy smile. She rolled her eyes to herself as he walked out. The door soon opened again. Christina walked in.

"Hey." She said. Meredith looked up.

"Hey."

"How's your friend?"

"Doing better."

"Good. Oh, here." She handed her a coffee.

"Ah, thanks, Christina."

"Yeah, whatever. What are you working on?"

"Patient's charts."

"Anything good? Anything that involves blood lots and scalpels?"

"Not yet… But you'll be the first to know."

"I might like you more than I thought." She stood up and walked out as Meredith laughed.


	14. It All Comes Out

Once again another night at the hospital. Maggie told her to go home and sleep in her own bed, but Meredith refused. Maggie would do it for her, so she would do it for Maggie. Maggie had fallen asleep still on pain meds that made her drowsy. Meredith sat at the window just thinking.

_She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck having to get up on her tip toes. "God, I love you, Alex." She smiled at him. He leaned down and kissed her. _

"_I love you too, Mer." He smiled at her. She fell back onto her heels and interlocked her fingers with him. _

"_I really do love you."_

_He picked her up causing her to squeal. "I really do love you too."_

She remembered that day often. It was one of her last fully blissful days before he left. They had spent the day together, not getting out of bed until nearly noon. Then, they went to lunch. He had treated her like a queen that day.

Wiping a tear off her cheek, she sat back.

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He was laying in the bed looking at the bottom of the top bunk. His thoughts were on something else or more someone else. Ever since Meredith got to Seattle, he was having feelings he hadn't had since he was in med school. Feeling he had for no other woman. Even if she refused to talk to him. Even if she refused to look at him. He still had those nagging feeling pulling on his heart. The door open, but he didn't bother to look.

"Find another one?" He called, but the person didn't. They flicked on the light and shut the door. He covered his eyes. "God. What the hell?" He rolled onto his stomach and looked at who had walked in. "Meredith!" He said sitting up quickly almost hitting his head.

She didn't say anything just began pacing the room playing with her fingers and biting her lower lip. He watched as she walked back and forth unsure if he should say anything.

"Mer…" He started but she cut him off by putting her finger up.

"I need to say something to you… but I don't know how, so just…" She sighed and continued to pace. He nodded and watched as she did this. It seemed like forever until she spoke again. "When we were in med school, I loved you so much and I thought to myself 'for once in my life, I have finally found someone who won't hurt me.' But I was wrong." Alex looked down at the floor. "You left and you didn't tell me why…"

"Meredith, I..." To his surprise she let him talk. "I loved you. It scared me. Love scared me to death. I didn't want to hurt you… so when I applied here and got in… I took it. Meredith… You're the only woman I've ever loved and even five years later… I feel the same way."

She fell back into the chair as tears rolled down her cheeks. He got up and wrapped his arms around her. She started to sob into his shoulder. She didn't want to relive the memory of him leaving. It hurt so much and then he was there tell her all these things. It felt like the walls were caving in on her as Carson popped into her mind. And right in that moment, she knew she had to tell him.

"You have a son." Was all she could get out through her sobs.


	15. Frozen World

Everything just froze. His muscles froze up. His heart stopped. And the clock just seem be stuck on the same number. The wind was knocked out of him and his whole body went numb all at once. She continued to sob but turned away from him unable to look at him in the face. He didn't move with his eyes frozen on her back.

Her hand was shaking as she brought her finger to her lip. She began nervously biting on the tip of her middle finger. She watched as the rain fell over the city unable to look at him afraid of what he was thinking.

They sat like this, neither being able to speak, for what seemed like hours. Her heart was beating an million times a minute as the minutes went by. But she couldn't bring herself to say anything hoping that he would say something first. Unable to say anything himself, Alex just sat there his mind racing with unanswered questions.

She couldn't take it any longer. Standing up quickly, she looked down at him wanting to say something. Needing to say something, but no words came out. She couldn't think of any words to say. She opened the door and sighed putting her head down on it.

"It's okay." She whispered before walking out shutting the door behind her. His eyes slowly traveled up to the shut door. He wanted so bad to get up and chase after her but his legs wouldn't work.

She hurried down the hall as tears rolled down her cheeks until she found Maggie's room. She slid down the wall putting her head on her legs that she pulled up to her chest and she just sobbed.

"_Hey," Meredith smiled as she sat down. _

"_Hey." He glanced over at her and smirked. "Alex Kerev."_

"_Meredith Grey." She smiled at him and shook his hand. _

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_She smiled as she looked down at the ground shifting from foot to foot. He picked her chin up so he would look at her. And before she knew it, their lips crashed together._

_They broke apart after a few minutes and smiled each other. Their first kiss. _

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_The music was playing. She was putting the dishes in the dishwasher and dancing around a little. Alex hadn't gotten back from his class yet, so she made herself useful cleaning up some. One of her favorite songs came on. A smile stretched across her face as she turned up the volume. Getting so wrapped up in the song and dance, she didn't hear the door open nor did she notice Alex walking into the kitchen. He quietly laughed to himself as he laid down his laptop bag. Her back was to him and she was shaking her butt around. He quietly snuck over and wrapped his arms around her shoulders starting to dance with her. She jumped and turned around to face him. _

"_Hey." She kissed him. _

"_Hey." He smiled as she turned around and continued to dance causing him to laugh. She broke into a fit of giggles as she fell back into his arms. _

She wasn't sure what was going on around her. She kept her head down on his knees until she feels her chin being lifted up. Before she knew what was happening, a pair of lips crashed with hers. Her eyes fluttered open and looked at him as he pulled back slightly.


	16. Only For Carson

He looked down at her as he brushed a couple of stray tears off her cheek. They stayed that way for what seemed like a long time before he reached his hand out. She looked at it for a second before taking it. He helped her up to her feet and intertwined his fingers with hers. Wordlessly, he guided her out of the room. She sniffled reaching up with her other hand and wiping a couple tears from her eye. They walked in silence down the hall.

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He passed her a cup of coffee as he sat down across from her.

"Thanks." She mumbled quietly, almost inaudible.

"I have a son?" He said staring at her.

She nodded. "You have a son."

There was a long silence between the two. She almost expected him to stand up and walk away, but he didn't. He held a small smile on his face.

"What's his name?" He asked quietly.

"Carson. Carson Alexander Grey."

"How old is he?"

"Three."

He smiled. "I have a son. I'm a father."

"I want to meet him."

"Alex, I don't…"

"Meredith, I'm here. And I'm here to stay. I promise." And she believed him, but at the same time was a little hurt. He was staying for Carson, not her. Slowly, she began to nod trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to talk, but she couldn't find any words. So, they sat in silence. It was dark, but neither minded. A tear slid down her cheek.

"I have to go check on, Maggie." She said standing up and walking away not giving him a chance to respond.

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_The next day…_

She wasn't sure what to say or do if she saw him. Richard was bringing Carson in, but when Carson looked back on the day he met his father, she didn't want him to remember his mother breaking down in the middle of the hospital.

"So you told him?"

"I told him." Meredith said looking up at her friend.

"And?" Maggie asked after a long pause.

"And he wants to meet him."

"That's great," Maggie exclaimed. Meredith's face stayed unchanged. "No so great?"

"No, it is great… it's just… he's 'here' because he knows about Carson. He doesn't want to be 'here' because of me."

"How do you know he doesn't want to be here for both of you?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I just don't know."

Maggie took her hand. "I know."

"I should go see the kids. You want me to bring Whitney here?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

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The kids walked beside her going on and on about what they did with Richard the night before. She nodded or commented every now and then, but her mind was in other place. Their words only breaking the surface of her mind, but didn't soak in. Her eyes scanned the halls hoping she wouldn't run into him on her way. They got to the room without seeing him. Maggie was sitting up in bed applying some eye shadow.

"Mama!" Whitney chirped as they walked in.

"Hey, Baby." She said as Whitney hurried over. Meredith helped her onto the bed. "How was your night?"

"Good. We had so much fun."

"Yeah, we played so many games. Grandpa was so much fun." Carson decided to help the conversation along.

"Come on, Carson. Let's go get Maggie some food."

"Okay!"

"Thanks, Mer." Maggie called as they walked out.


	17. Jumbled Thoughts

She walked down to her car carrying Carson in her arms. Glancing around with every turn to make sure Alex wasn't around. Making it outside unnoticed by anyone, she hurried to her car.

"Climb in and I'll buckle you." She said letting him down and opening the door.

"Yes, Mama." She helped him in and he climbed across the seat to his car seat. She leaned into the car and strapped him in.

"There you go," Meredith kissed his cheek.

"Mer?" Someone's voice came. Causing her to jump and hit her head on the roof over the door.

"Damn it." She muttered under her breath as she pulled her head out. Wincing, she rubbed the back of her head. She opened her eyes to see the cocky smirk of Alex standing there. He chuckled as she shut the door.

"Is Carson in there?" He asked looking over her shoulder to see him kicking his legs back and forth against the seat. He glanced up and caught Alex's eyes.

"Not now, Alex." She sighed. "I can't do this right now." She opened her door and slid in.

"Meredith…."

"Not now." She said a little sharper before turning on her car. "Later."

Before he knew it, she had pulled out of the space and was heading out of the parking lot. He sighed and headed into the hospital.

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"I got your favorite." She smiled.

"What? The 'I'm leaving the hospital special?' Cause please, if I am… I would get down and kiss your feet."

Meredith laughed. "I'll see what you can do."

"Food!" Whitney squealed causing both Meredith and Maggie to laugh.

"Yeah, I got you chicken nuggets, Whitney. And, Mags, I got you your pickles, roast beef, cheese, extra peppers sandwich."

"You're a goddess, Meredith." Maggie smiled at her as she excitedly unwrapped the paper around her sandwich. Taking a large bit, she smiled. "I think I love you."

"You're spitting food out."

"Chew with your mouth closed." Carson scolded wagging his finger causing them to laugh.

Meredith sighed sitting in the chair beside the bed. Maggie glanced over noticing her face grew serious.

"What's wrong?"

Meredith rested the side of her head on her head. "Nothing." She forced a smile. "Nothing at all."

Not wanting to press, Maggie let it drop.

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For the first time in what seemed like weeks, she returned back to her house for the night. Maggie urged her to go needing rest anyway, so Meredith left with the kids. After an hour and a half at the park and a half an hour of getting/eating food, she finally returned back to her house. Standing in the middle of the room, something felt so wrong. Maybe it was Maggie being gone. Maybe it was all that was going on with Alex. But for some reason at two in the afternoon, while the kids were asleep for there nap, everything just seemed to settle at the surface weighing down on her. And all she wanted to do was cry or sleep through it all. Laying down on the couch, she let her eyes fall shut. Things started to fly through her head and thoughts got jumbled together, but the one thing that stood out was…

"_He's 'here' because he knows about Carson. He doesn't want to be 'here' because of me."_


	18. Blurt Out

Maggie called early that morning to tell her not to come in until later that day. She didn't want Whitney and Carson there while she got some of the tests done before they could begin thinking about discharge. After fixing them some breakfast, she allowed them to eat before cleaning up while they played in the living room. By the time she finished with the kitchen, Maggie was calling to ask if she could drop Whitney off for some Mommy-Daughter time. Getting the kids ready, she loaded them into the car and headed to the hospital. Only spending an hour with Maggie, she and Carson left and went to a park close by. About an hour and a half later, Maggie called and Meredith returned to the hospital to get Whitney. She got them an early dinner and headed home.

It was late evening, when she put them to bed which was easy since they hadn't gotten a nap that day.

She sighed throwing the towel down on the counter and shut the dishwasher. Glancing at the clock, she noticed it was only seven-thirty. Walking into the living room, she began picking up the toys that the kids had left out before they fell asleep. Stuffing the toys into the toy chest, she straightened the pillows that were half falling off the couch. As she continued to straighten up, there was a knock at the door. She threw the teddy bears that she held in her arms back onto the couch before opening the door. Alex was standing in front of her was Alex.

She sighed.

"Hey." He said managing a smile.

"Hey." She muttered opening the glass door and shutting it behind her.

"I was wonder…"

She looked at her feet unsure of what to do. Nodding slightly, she walked to the stairs. Sitting down, she pulled her knees up and rested her forehead on them. She let out a sigh.

"Mer…"

"Am I a bad mother?" She asked cutting him off.

He sighed sitting down beside her shaking his head. "No… You really seem to care about Carson."

"I do… but I'm here… You're here… what am I supposed to do?"

"Mer, I want to be here."

"I want you to be here too."

"Why?" She asked quietly.

"I want to be in your guys' lives."

She nodded looking up at the stars barely shinning through the clouds.

"_Only for Carson." _She could hear her own words echo through her head.

Standing up, she looked down at him. "He's asleep right now." She walked to the door.

"Mer?"

She looked back at him. "Can we talk?"

She nodded opening the door. "Come on in."

He walked into the house behind her as she picked up the teddy bears she was holding and threw them onto of the toy chest. Falling back onto the couch, she put her hand on her head as he took a seat in one of the chairs.

"So?" She asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"Me? Being in his life?"

She nodded. _"His. His life."_ "I don't want him to be me. I don't want him to grow up without a father."

"I'm glad you're okay with it."

Small footsteps echoed down the house. Turning her head, she saw Carson appear on the stairs.

"Carson? What are you doing up?" She asked.

"I woke up." He yawned as he walked in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his little waist kissing the top of his head.

"Don't stay up too long."

"Who are you?" He asked pointing his small finger.

"It's not nice point, Baby." She said pulling her little arm down to his side.

"Hi, I'm Alex." Alex answered as Meredith shifted uncomfortably.

"My name is…" He took a deep breath as if he was about to say something long. "Carson Alexander Grey."

Alex smiled as he shook his small hand. Meredith looked at them. They looked so similar. She couldn't take it. She could felt the anxiety building up in the pit of her stomach. Her mind was going a hundred miles an hour.

"Alex is your father." She blurted out.


	19. Explaining It

Alex looked up at her a little caught off guard. Meredith sighed rubbing her temple.

"Carson?" She said turning him towards her. "Look at me, Baby." Carson looked at her with his gray-green eyes. "Remember how I told you your middle name is after your Daddy?"

Carson nodded. She bit her bottom lip.

"Alex's name is Alexander." Carson looked at Alex then back at Meredith with confusion set in his eyes. She let out a shaky sigh as she tried to control herself. "Alex is your Daddy, Baby." A tear slid down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. "Do you understand what that means, Sweetie?" She asked in a shaky voice. Carson slowly nodded but didn't say anything. She knew it would be a lot for his two-year-old mind to comprehend, but she hoped it would go okay. She took his small hand in hers. "Carson, I know this is hard for you to understand, but he loves you very much and has been wanting to meet you."

Carson nodded looking over at Alex, who was nervously shifting in his seat, but his eyes were set on his son. Minutes ticked away slowly as tears began to cascade down Meredith's cheeks and Carson looked between his parents.

"Hi, Daddy." He said after what seemed like an eternity.

A smile broke on Alex's face. "Hey." He managed to get out as Carson wrapped his arms around his father. Alex leaned over and lifted him onto his lap. "I love you."

"I love you too." Carson said before yawning.

Meredith put her head in her hands tears rolling down her cheeks.

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"And my bestest friend is Whitney." Carson told Alex adding to the list of things he was telling him about himself. He let out a yawn as he shifted around on Alex's lap. A pager went off and both they both went for their pagers.

"It's mine." Alex sighed. "Sorry, Buddy, I have to go."

"It's time for bed, Carson." Meredith sighed standing up. It was the first thing she had said since she told Carson about Alex. "Go ahead upstairs. I'll be right up."

Carson nodded. "Bye, Daddy."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Alex called as Carson ran up the stairs. He looked at Meredith as he put on his jacket. "Thank you, Meredith."

"He deserves a father." She gave him a small smile. "We'll see you tomorrow I guess."

He nodded. "Night."

"Goodnight, Alex." She called before shutting the door. She turned and slid down it. Putting her head in her hands, a few stray tears made their way down her numb cheek, but she wiped them away quickly.

"Mommy!" Carson called from the top of the stairs.  
"Sh. Whitney is sleeping."

"Mommy. Are you coming?" He whispered loudly.

A smiled crept across her face as she stood up and head up the stairs to her son. "I love you, Sweetie."

"I love you too, Mama." He said kissing her cheek.

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Sorry about the length. **_


	20. Something Isn't Right

Two weeks had passed since she told Carson about Alex. Two weeks and Alex and Carson barely separated outside work. Alex was already over playing catch or teaching him something Meredith wouldn't have ever been able to do. He and Meredith were doing well as well but she always had that feeling in the back of her head that he was only there because of Carson and it bothered her. They really hadn't gone back to being a romantic item per say. They were together a lot enjoying each other's company at work and while he was at her house. They hadn't told anyone at work about their past or the fact that Alex was a father. Even though they never told anyone, Alex didn't hide it. He kept a picture of Carson taped to the inside of his locker much like Meredith did though she had more than one. She was content with where they were at and happy that Carson finally had the father she always wished he would.

Maggie was released from the hospital and went back to work two days ago. She, too, seemed to like Alex and was okay with him being around. Whitney took a while to get used to the change that Carson having a father and even questioned about her own which was hard on Maggie, but Meredith was there for her and they together explained somewhat.

She reached up stopping the alarm from going off again. Having hit sleep six times, it had been going off for the last half an hour every five minutes. Rain rolled off the windows only to be replaced with more. Maggie continued to knock at the door and Meredith could tell she was getting annoyed. She could hear the kids talking downstairs and calling to Maggie every few minutes.

"Meredith, you have to get up." She called again.

"I don't want to." Meredith finally responded.

"Opened the door." Maggie asked jiggling the door knob but Meredith didn't get up. "Come on, Mer. I don't want to pick it." She didn't answer as she got up and opened it before returning to bed. "What's wrong?"

She looked at her. "Something doesn't feel right."

"What?"

"Something. I don't know I feel like something is going to happen today."

"What do you mean?" She asked sitting at the end of the bed. Meredith rolled so her back was to her.

"I have Alex who only wants Carson…"

"You don't know that."

"I don't know what to do. Carson is happy. Alex is happy. I just wish…"

"That you felt like he wanted you."

Meredith nodded quietly. "Plus, I feel like something is going to happen."

"You have to get up. You're a surgical resident. It's your job."

Meredith sighed nodded slowly. "Alright."

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"What do we have?" She asked as the paramedics wheeled in a patient.

"Thirty-five year old male fell unconscious at work." He answered. "Bleeding from the head."

"Room One." She ordered following close behind. "How's his vitals?"

"A little shaky." He answered.

"Blood type?"

"AB positive."

"Get me two units of AB positive. Are you okay?" She asked the paramedic whose hand seemed to be shaking and sweating.

"I don't feel too good." She admitted. Her legs started shaking. Her eyes were blood shot and water.

"Maybe you should lay down." Meredith said touching her arm leading her out. The other paramedic went back to the ambulance while Meredith found the other a bed. "I'll send another doctor in, okay?"

She slowly nodded as Meredith walked out. "George?" She called noticing him walk away.

"Yes?"

"Can you check the paramedic in here?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

She walked back down the hall to room one. Grabbing some gloves from the cart outside the door, she looked inside. One of the nurses was presenting with the same visual symptoms of the paramedic. Her legs buckled and she fell to the ground. Meredith watched as she someone attempted to help her up. Her eyes returned to the patient as one of the interns lifted the bandages from his head to get some new ones. His hand was shaking violently. His legs started to shake and he began to look weak. Her eyes returned to the patient's face. Blood ran down from one nurse's nose.

"Everyone needs to evacuate this room." Someone yelled. Meredith walked into the room over to the patient.

"Dr. Grey are you coming?" An intern asked.

"You have to evacuate." Another yelled.

"I'm not going to leave the patient to die." She snapped applying pressure to the patient's head. "I need you to do exactly as I say. Shut the door and shove a blanket under the bottom of the door to close the crack. Find the chief and tell him that the pit is being evacuated. Have the charge nurse call hazmat. Get everyone out of the pit and put them on treatment as a precaution."


	21. Not Much Longer

"What do you mean the pit was evacuated? I didn't authorize this." Richard said.

"A patient. He came in with some sort of airborne toxin. It was an emergency. Dr. Grey ordered it…"

"Where is Dr. Grey?" He asked.

"Down in the pit."

"With the toxic patient!" He almost yelled.

"We told her she should evacuate but she didn't want to leave the patient to die."

"Okay… What other doctors were in there?"

"Doctors Pelt and Dirent." She answered before walking away.

Richard noticed Dr. Pelt sitting behind the nurses' station taking deep breaths from the oxygen mask.

"Dr. Pelt?" He called walking over. "What were the symptoms?"

"Shakiness, weakness, nausea, and one of the paramedics starting coughing up blood when I was bringing her up for the pit."

"Radiation." He said his eyes wide. "AND YOU LEFT MEREDITH!" He yelled.

"She didn't…" He took a deep breath from the mask. "She refused to leave. She's a brave doctor, sir."

"She's a mother too. She's my stepdaughter."

"Chief?" He turned at the sound of Alex's voice.

"Guys, I don't have time. We have a crisis."

"Chief, what's going on in the pit?" Izzie asked as she, Alex, Christina, and George followed him to the elevator.

"I'm not sure." The elevator opened and about ten people wearing hazmat suites came out.

"This is bad." Christina sighed as a couple pushed pass.

"Who's in-charge?"

"I am." Richard said. "Where are the toxins coming from?"

"The pit… There's a resident down there. She's my step-daughter. I need her to be okay."

"It's Meredith?" Alex asked frantic.

"Here, put this one and show us." The man in the suite said holding a suite to Richard.

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Her breathing was rough and gasping. Reaching up, she used some gauze to wipe the blood flowing from her nose. She took a deep breath from the oxygen mask and continued to squeeze the ambu as the patient's chest raised and fell. She breathed through the oxygen mask. She wasn't sure what the patient was suffering from, but some toxin was coming from someplace… maybe his blood or skin. Lifting the bandage on his head, she tossed the blood filled gauze into the trash. Still squeezing the bag, she examined the cut more closely. She had to sew it up or he was sure to bleed to death. She wouldn't let that happen. Glancing up, she watched as the elevator opened and five hazmat suited people walked out. One she could recognize to be Richard. Two were holding little devices. One held the hospital blue prints and the last one seemed to be ordering the others around. Richard walked to the window and pressed his hand to it.

"Meredith." His voice was quiet and low through the window. The blood was running from her nose and collecting in the bottom of the mask. Her skin was pale and eyes were blood shot.

She pointed through the phone. Her hands were shaking slightly but she continued to keep steady. He nodded. Walking over the phone at the nurses' station, he picked it up and dialed to the number.

"Richard?" Her voice was shaky and weak.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She said.

"There you go with that fine stuff again." He chuckled trying to stay strong even though he could hear the faint sound of her crying.

"I'm not sure what's wrong with him." Richard held the phone tight to his head to hear. "I'm not leaving him Richard. I can't let him die."

"Okay." He sniffled. His eyes pleaded with the head hazmat guy. "Mer, we think it is radiation poisoning."

She sniffled. "I'm going to be fine. I have to… cut off my air supply long enough to sew his head up, so I don't have to pump him."

"No, Mer. You can't."

"He's going to die if I don't."

She hung up the phone before he could protest. "She wants to take herself off her air supply." He yelled hurrying over to the window.

"What?" The head guy yelled.

Richard banged on the window shaking his head. Meredith looked at him tear streaks run down her face. Looking at him, a tear rolled down her cheek as she disconnected the oxygen mask form hers then disconnected the ambu bag. Putting the pump onto his ask, she walked over to the cabinet and took out the supplies she needed. She laid them out and began sewing him up as fast as she could. She coughed. Her whole body shaking with each heavy cough. She turned away from the patient continuing to cough and doubling over. Blood spilled from her mouth onto the floor. She gasped for air wiping the rest from her lower lip. She tried to focus as Richard banged on the window yelling her name. She raised a hand.

"I'm okay." She called trying to catch her breath. Turning back to the patient, she continued her job even if the stitches were messy and slightly uneven, but they would work. When she finished, the coughing returned and once again blood spilled from her mouth. Her whole body felt weak and painful all at the same time. Her stomach churned but she refused to vomit. If it were radiation, it wouldn't be very long until she passed out. It wouldn't be very long until the blood coming from her nose got heavier and the coughing became more constant, but all she could worry about was Carson. Alex and Carson continued to pop into her head. Fear stuck her worse than the pain.


	22. Through The Window

Her legs were shaking violently and she struggled to keep her hand still. She sat beside the bed gasping for air in the oxygen mask hoping for it to stop. Her skin was pale and her eyes were blood shot. Richard stayed close to the glace and she watched him talk to hazmat while still keeping a close eye on her. Her eyes swipe across the pit and watched as the door opened. Alex walked out without a suite on. She jumped to her feet almost instantly regretting it, but hid it well. Walking over to the glass, she watched as he argued with a hazmat. They were making hand motions and Alex was yelling but she wasn't sure what he was saying. Richard walked over saying a few things. Alex's eyes pleaded with his before Richard nodded and Alex pushed the hazmat guy off of him. Making his way over, his eyes didn't leave Meredith's pained, bloody, frail face. Tears slowly rolled off her cheeks as he walked over. Her head was rested on the glass and she held the mask close to her face. Richard handed him a phone and she picked up on.

"Mer?"

"You shouldn't be down here. It's dangerous."

"Mer… Are you okay?"

She didn't answer and just stared at him tears cascading down her face. Her glossy blue eyes never leaving his. The phone slipped from her fingers as the tremors in her arm came tenfold, but she made no moved to get it. She rested her hand on the glass trying to support herself from falling to the ground. He still held the phone to his ear as tears glossed over his own eyes. She let the oxygen mask fall from her face. Blood dripped to the ground. Tears mixed with the thick red and fall in big droplets. He laid his head down like she had. A tear rolled down his cheek as he moved his hand to where hers was resting. A light cough shook her body as tears fell harder.

"I love you, Meredith." He said quietly to the point she could only read her lips.

"I love you too, Alex." She mouthed back.

"Alex, you have to go." Richard said touching his arm. He shook his head as another tear rolled down his cheek, but his eyes didn't leave Meredith.

She nodded slowly.

"I'm not leaving you." He said. "I'm not leaving her." He repeated looking at the Chief.

"You have to. It's not safe."

He looked at Meredith again and she gave him a soft smile.

"I'll be fine." She mouthed. Richard pulled him softly the plastic suite rustling with every move.

He looked at her once more before turning and walking to the elevator that was being held open. Watching her for one more second before the doors closed.

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He needed to get his son. He needed to see him. He hurried down the hall towards the stairs passing the elevator that was opening.

"Alex!" Maggie called.

He stopped and turned. Maggie walked out wearing a skirt with matching blazer. Her heels echoed down the hall as she ran down the hall. Quickly giving him a hug, she pulled back and sniffled.

"I just heard. I was in court and got here as soon as I could. How is she?"

"They still haven't gotten her out of the room." He chocked back the tears as he leaned against the wall. "She's not doing well." He looked at her. "What if she…?"

"Don't." She said sharply as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Don't even think it. She… She will be fine."

"I love her, Maggie." He knew it was weird to be opening up to someone who he had only known for a little while, but she was nice and Meredith's best friend so…

"She loves you too." He nodded remembering what they had said. "And she loves Carson. She's not going to leave us."

He nodded. "I have to see Carson."

"Come on. Let's go." She said and they hurried up the stairs.


	23. That Picture

She always thought they were stupid. The "All-American Family." The pictures of the young children laughing and playing on the swings as their father grilled and their mother kissed his cheek. The picture of true happiness between the small family as if nothing was wrong in the world. She hated it. It set the bar high and nobody could live up to the standards. It was a lie that left people feeling as if they weren't as good because some asshole magazine editor thought that it would give America a better image. An image of happiness and flawless moments. As if the mother wasn't thinking about the hot pool boy and the father was wishing he had a supermodel wife. As if the kids wouldn't rather be with their friends. She hated those people. She hated their perfect lives. She hated them yet that's all she could think about as her vision got blurry and her joints locked up sending surges of pain throughout her body with every movement with and IV in her arm and a pool of blood on the ground. Her body was so weak because of blood loss. Her head ached with pain and every fiber of her being shook. She sat in the chair staring at the blood on the ground. Her blood that continually flowed from her nose and mouth. The coughing had become more regular. The only reason she was still conscious was because of the oxygen mask.

Richard and the hazmat team had confirmed that it was in fact radiation that had poisoned and is poisoning anyone in close contact with the patient's blood. The news devastated her. Even if she made it out, some radiation poisoned patients take years and years to get over it and get sick easily. She hoped to be one of the lucky ones even if the chances were slim.

The patient was breathing on his own after she preformed a simple procedure about twenty minutes ago. His heart rate was steadily weak, but she couldn't do anything about it without more equipment. The hazmat team had completely locked down the pit covering every opening with something so nothing could leak out. They had started up air purifiers outside the pit doors and inside the pit to try to keep the air as clean as possible. They shut all air vents in the room through the maintenance room and Meredith manually closed them too.

She looked up at the clock. It took a second for her vision to become clear enough to see. She had been in there for almost an hour now, much longer than most people can handle being exposed it radiation. Taking a deep breath from the oxygen mask, she looked out into the pit. She watched as Richard paced nervously the width of the window. He was the only solid family she had, even though he wasn't blood related. Thatcher barely showed his face in her life after he left. Richard was the one who had done all the fatherly stuff. Threaten her boyfriends. Father-daughter dances as weddings. Punish her when she was out pass curfew. Been protective of her. Supported her in everything she did. And even now, when she was a grown woman, he refused to leave the pit.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she struggled to get up. How much longer could her body hold up? Everything flew through her head at a million miles per hour as her legs began to shake beneath her. Her hazy eyes had glossed over with tears. Putting her hand against the window, she looked through at all the people. Richard looked at her with sadness and helplessness in his eyes. She weakly forced a smile at him.

"Thank you." She mouthed slowly. "For everything."

His eyes were full of tears as his daughter hunched over in pain. Her body arching and falling with every strained breath. Her eyes finally traveled back up to him as she straightened up some.

"I'm so proud of you." He said quietly, but she could only read his lips. A small smile forced itself through the blood and tears that cascaded off her face. The patient's heart rate fell and the monitor set off and alarm accordingly. She tried to push herself to hurry, but as she turned and started over, her body finally gave up and collapsed to the floor. Richard smacked against the window yelling her name, but everything was getting so hazy around her. The patient's heart rate continued to fall and raise every couple of seconds. She could hear mixing of the alarm and the beat. She could hear the loud thumps of Richard's hands hitting the thick glass and his helpless cries. Everything seemed to mix together and that picture flashed through her mind.

_Carson laughed happily as he swung back and forth on the swing. Alex chuckled as he flipped the hamburgers. Whitney ran of the house giggling as Maggie chased after her calling her name in a playful voice. Finally, she emerged from the house carrying a plate of vegetables. Alex smiled at her and Carson called her name. She set the food down on the table and smiled back at Alex. Walking over, she kissed his cheek. _

"_Hey." He whispered wrapping his arms around her._

"_Hey." She smiled up at him as their lips met. "I love you." She whispered pulling back slightly. _

"_I love you too." He said back. _

"MEREDITH!" Richard yelled, but she had already slipped unconscious. Turning towards the hazmat chief, he said strongly. "She's going to run out of time. We have to get her, NOW."


	24. Trying To Be Strong

They walked up the third set of stairs before Alex sat down letting out a long sigh. Maggie was barely paying attention and almost ran into him. Backing up, she looked down at him as he roughly rubbed his eyes. In the last two weeks, she had seen both a side she expected and didn't expect. Over their friendship, Meredith had told her the good and the bad about Alex Kerev. She told him how he could be the biggest ass on the earth or the sweetest man alive. He had always been that guy since the day she and Alex met in college. Maggie knew that Alex was a sweet guy and always was when he was with Carson and Mer, but when she would come visit Mer at the hospital she would see him being an ass to his friends and interns and nurses. She knew both of his sides, but had never heard nor seen Alex Kerev like this. She sat beside him looking over at him. He lifted his head. Tears were in his eyes.

"She has to make it. Carson needs her… I need her." He said softly.

Maggie nodded. "We all do."

"She… I love her."

"I know." She answered softly.

"And I'm an idiot and I'm stupid and…"

"She forgave you, Alex. She loves you too."

He took a deep breath. A door above them opened causing him to recompose himself as quickly as he broke down. She gave him a soft smile trying to stay composed herself, but as time went on and they still had no word on her, it was hard.

"God this is crazy." A familiar voice came.

He recognized the voices, but she didn't. Meredith wasn't close with Alex's friends, so when she came to visit her at the hospital they were never around her. She was sort of close with Christina but not too close. She didn't have many friends around the hospital; because she didn't have the time that they did to hang out at Joe's or to throw wild parties like some of the doctors did. Every moment that she wasn't at the hospital it was spent with Carson in fear of turning out like her mother. Since Alex found out, he had fallen into a similar routine with spending time with Meredith and Carson all the time after work, before work, or whenever he could. Meredith always had lunch with Carson, but Alex normally had a different lunch so he wasn't able to.

"I know what you mean." Another voice came as footsteps echoed down the stairs. Alex stood up rubbing his face and helped Maggie up as Mark, Derek, Christina, Izzie, and George turned the corner. Maggie straightened her skirt and turned her back away from them putting her hands on the railing to stare out the window.

"No surgeries because of this stupid pit shit." Christina moaned. "What's up, Evil Spawn?" He avoided eye contact.

"Have any of you heard anything about the pit… and Meredith?" He asked trying to put up a strong front.

"Nope." They all echoed each other.

"But as far as I'm concerned Meredith is crazy." Derek said. "Being a hero and all."

"It's not like she need it for her image. She's already a great surgeon." George said not quite sure why he didn't like the others picking on Meredith. Maybe cause he knew what it was like to be not included in a group. By the time Meredith got to the hospital, everything was already kind of cliquish, so she was like the odd woman out. He knew what that was like.

"Why would someone do that?" Christina said shaking her head.

"She cares about the patients." Maggie mumbled before turning around. "She's one of the few doctors I know, and I know a lot of doctors, who actually gives a damn about the patients more than she does the money or the fame or the glory or whatever the reason people do it."

"I still say she's stupid for doing it." Derek mumbled.

"Shut up, guys." Alex snapped.

"Why do you even care, Evil Spawn?" Christina shot back.

Alex didn't bother to answer just motioned for Maggie to follow him up the stairs.

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He watched as her body still moved with her short breaths. The hazmat still said they couldn't open the door. His blood was boiling with anger when someone tapped his shoulder. He turned to see the chief of hazmat.

"Can we get her out?" He said quietly.

"Not yet." He answered sadly.

That's it.

He grabbed the man and pushed him up against the window.

"That is my little girl in there. You get her out of there and you get her out of there NOW." He yelled angrily holding there for a few more seconds before letting him go.

"Dr. Webber, you just have to be calm."

"Calm?! You want me to be calm while my daughter is dying in there?!?"

"Alright. We can get her out. How much time does she have?"

"I don't know." He said looking at the ground.

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He pushed the door open to the daycare. Mrs. Jackson, the caretaker, looked up and smiled at him. He had been up to visit Carson a lot and she knew he was his father. He nodded in her direction as he walked into the room. Maggie was close behind. They finally spotted Carson coloring with a couple other children at a table. A younger woman walked around peeking over their shoulders but stopped when she noticed the visitors. Smiling, she walked over.

"What can I do for you?" She said quietly.

"I need to pick up my son, Carson." Alex said looking over her shoulder at Carson.

"Oh, he was just a delight today." She beamed. "Let me get him." She walked over and tapped his shoulder. After whispering something to him, the lady stood up and Carson looked over at Alex.

"Hi Daddy, Hi Maggie." He smiled walking over.

"Hey." They both said quietly as Alex took Carson's hand.

"Bye Carson." A couple kids said and he waved goodbye to them before the trio walked out. Alex and Maggie were keeping composure best they could. Maggie pushed the button to the elevator and not a word was said. Carson looked up back and forth between the two adults.

"Where's Whitney?" He asked Maggie.

"She's at the new daycare." Maggie answered as they boarded the elevator.

"Will she ever come to daycare with me again?" He asked.

"I'm sure she will." She forced a smiled and looked down at him.


	25. We Need To Go

_**It has come to my attention that I have accidentally made Carson younger and younger as the story went on. I apologize for that. Just for clarity, he is four years old. **_

_**Thank you to whoever pointed it out to me. **_

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He sat in the basement with Carson. Maggie had gone about ten minutes earlier to get Whitney, but would return within the next twenty minutes or so. He was looking out the window as Carson had his afternoon nap. He was thinking about their times in college and the past couple of weeks. Lying back, he looked up at the ceiling trying to block the thoughts from his mind to keep from any further breakdown or pain. He kept Carson close. Before her knew in, Carson had woken up for a brief second and fell back asleep using Alex's arm as a pillow. Footsteps echoed down the hall and Maggie soon appeared with Whitney in tow. Her hair was now in a messy bun, but she still wore her 'court clothes' since she didn't want to be gone long enough to pick up Whitney and return home for clothes.

"Any word?" She whispered.

"No." He said back in hushed tones.

She leaned back against the wall with a sigh. Whitney was playing with some needless syringes that she had found on the floor still in packages, so neither Maggie nor Alex stopped her.

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"Now!" Richard yelled. "We need to get her out now."

"We are Dr. Webber, but as you know…"

"I don't care what I do or don't know. Get my daughter out of there." He yelled.

"We're trying. Let us do our job."

"Then let me do mine. My job is to protect her. Now, get her out of there now."

The hazmat guy walked away muttered some words to another guy before walking back over.

"We can get her out." He said. "They have a hazmat tent ready to decontaminate her."

"Just hurry." He sighed. "She doesn't have much time."

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He sat in the basement with Maggie, Carson, and Whitney. Carson had woken up and was now playing on the floor with Alex's stethoscope with Whitney. Maggie was laying back on the gurney with her knees up in the air and her eyes focused on the ceiling. Alex sat against the wall watching his son play.

"Why don't you guys play up here?" He said. Both kids stood up and Alex lifted them up. Maggie sat up and looked at Whitney.

"Let's go to the bathroom, Whitney." She said standing up. "We'll be back."

He nodded. Carson climbed up and sat beside his father. Alex put his arm around his shoulders.

"This is where you yell." He said tapping his finger on the part of the stethoscope that you put to someone's heart.

"Sort of." Alex said taking the stethoscope. "You put this on someone's heart." He put the ear buds in his ears. "See." He said pressing the stethoscope to his chest.

"I wanna hear." He said reaching for it.

Alex put the ear buds in his ears and held it to his chest. "Hear it?" Carson nodded. "That's your heart."

"I'm gonna be a doctor just like Mama and Dada." He said cheerfully.

"You are?" He asked.

"Yep." He smiled brightly.

"You'll be great."

"What's going on here?" A voice came causing Alex to look away from his son to see his friends.

"Why are you with Meredith's kid?" Izzie asked.

"Alex?" Maggie's voice came. He looked at her. "We have to go."


	26. Revealing The Truth

When they found Richard, he was pacing the outside of a quarantined room. His face looked distressed. His eyes were full of tears that he didn't allow to spill over. When they walked up, Alex knew what he was going to say. He had to face of a doctor that he couldn't hide. He had the pained look in his eye behind the tears.

"She doesn't look good." He said in a low voice. "Bailey is in there with her, but…" His voice faded away. "They aren't sure if… if she'll…" He didn't finish the sentence just fell back into a chair cradling his head in his hands.

Alex's eyes moved from him to Maggie. She was crying and Whitney had her arms wrapped around her mother's legs.

He looked down at his own son who looked oblivious to the fact his mother was fighting for her life. He looked up at his father with a curious look in his eyes, but Alex didn't know what to say. He couldn't lose Meredith. Tear burned his eyes as they traveled the hospital. People watched curiously and whispered quietly among themselves. Doctors walked by their eyes one them as they put away a chart as if to act busy.

He had always been the strong one. All through college and medical school, she would cry on his shoulder. He would stay up until three in the morning and rub her back while she cried even if he had an exam the next day. The only time he shed a tear in front of anyone was when his mother died in a car accident. She had held him all night until they both fell asleep. She had come with him to the funeral and wouldn't let go of his hand. Right now, he wanted to be there. He wanted to hold her hand. She needed him, but he couldn't move. He could barely breathe as he watched Bailey hook up another blood bag.

"They are doing… transfusions and have her on treatment." Richard's voice pulled him from a trance. "But they estimate her exposure at 400 roentgens."

"What? What does that mean?" Maggie asked as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"It means that she was in the room for long enough to get 400 roentgens exposure."

"What are the chances of survival? What does this all mean?" Richard didn't answer and Alex didn't remove his eyes from Meredith inside the room. "What does this mean?" She repeated a little louder.

"People who have this amount of exposure… half of them die."

"No!" Maggie wailed and fell to her knees wrapping her arms around Whitney. Alex just stood there staring in the room. Everything else seemed to fade away and all he could see was her. Her body lying lifeless in the hospital bed. He could Maggie's cries. He could feel Carson pulling on his arms. He could hear Richard's quiet crying noise. He snapped out of it as Meredith's monitors went off. Bailey jumped into action starting to start CPR. Maggie screamed when she heard the code blue be called. Richard fell to the ground just letting himself go and break down.

He felt the world start spiraling around him. Everything coming at him at once. Meredith's body jumped with every shock of electricity that jolted through her body.

"What's going on? What's going on, Daddy?" Carson said pulling on his father's arm. "Where's Mommy?"

Tears burned his eyes as he looked at his son then Maggie and Richard then finally his son again. As tears started down his cheek, he fell into the chair and put his head in his hands. Carson stood there looking at them all crying. Whitney stood in her mother's embrace.

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He couldn't stand there doing nothing any longer. Meredith had pulled through, but still wasn't doing well. She was on the third bag of blood and wasn't making a fast move towards improvement.

He held Carson's hand as they walked up the stairs. He heard a door open and shut behind him.

"Alex." He heard Izzie called. He continued up the stairs. "Alex." She called again. As he got to a landing he turned and looked at her to find not only Izzie but also George, Christina, Mark, and Derek.

"What?"

"Where are you headed?" Mark asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere." He turned to walk away.

"Why do you have Meredith's son?" Christina asked.

He ignored the question at first, but when they asked again he turned around and looked at them. "He's my son, okay? He is my son. Now leave me alone." He growled.

"How could you not tell us?" Izzie said obviously hurt by the secret.

"Not now." He said stopping but not looking at them.

"This is huge and you didn't tell us. You're friends." She continued.

"Izzie!" He yelled. "Not now. Okay? I can't deal with you or any of you right now."

"Daddy, what's going on?" Carson asked for the sixth time since they left Maggie and Richard. "Where's Mommy?"

"Yeah, Daddy, where's Mommy?" Mark said cockily.

"Carson, go stand up there. Don't leave, okay?"

Carson nodded and headed up the stairs. He turned to his friends. "You know damn well where Meredith is. I don't need this right now. He doesn't need this right now." He hissed.

"How did you think we would react?" Izzie asked.

"I don't know, and I really don't care. Leave me the hell alone." He hurried up the stairs without another word.


	27. Checking Up On Her

_**So some people were questioning how Mark and Izzie could be so cruel. Izzie is more hurt and as we've seen in the show she has a different side. In this story, Mark and Alex are best friends and he's used to giving Alex a hard time. That coupled with the fact that he too is a little mad that Alex did tell him produced the rude remark.**_

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

He sat in the on-call room. Carson was sleeping in the bunk that he sat at the end of. Tears finally rolled off his cheeks as he stared out the window. He had not heard any news about Meredith in a while and the anxiety was starting to build up, but he couldn't move.

"Daddy?" Carson's small voice came. Alex wiped his hand over his face as Carson crawled under his arm so his father's arm was around his shoulders.

"What's up, Buddy?" He said sniffling a little.

"What's wrong? Where did Mommy go?"

He looked at his son unsure of what to say. "Mommy is sick, but the doctors are making her all better. Don't worry, okay?"

Carson looked at the ground for a second before nodding. "Can we go check on her?"

"I think that would be a good idea." He stood up lifting Carson into his arms. "Let's go check."

They walked out and down the hall. Alex started to notice people staring or whispering to each other. A couple people were even pointing at them. Carson must have noticed to.

"Why is everyone looking at us?"

"Just ignore them." He said glaring at everybody who was daring enough to meet his eyes.

He saw Richard, Maggie, and Whitney sitting in chairs lined outside her room. Richard had his head resting in his head in his hands rubbing the bridge of his nose. Whitney was asleep in Maggie's arms with her head rested on her shoulder. And Maggie just stared hazily out into the distance.

"Any news?" He asked almost afraid of what they might say as he let Carson to the ground.

"Her stats are up… But, um." He cleared his throat. "She's not out of the woods yet."

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"Can you believe it?" Izzie said. "Alex Kerev is a father."

"I can't picture him as 'Father of the Year' material." Derek said.

They were all sitting on the patio drinking coffee while they had down time. Since the pit had been shut down all the incomings were being diverted to Mercy West or Presbyterian. It was also a slow day in the pit, so interns were covering that. They had nothing to do.

"Kerev was bound to have a kid somewhere. He sleeps around as much as Sloan over here." Christina pointed out.

"Hey, just cause I sleep around doesn't mean I have a kid. I don't I always use protection." Mark said defensively.

"So you're saying if you didn't have a condom you wouldn't have sex?" Christina asked raising an eyebrow.

Mark thought about it for a second. "Maybe. It depends on…"

"Can we get back to the subject at hand?" Izzie cut him off.

"Which was?" Christina asked.

"Alex!" Izzie almost yelled.

"Jeez Barbie. We're at a hospital. People might be sleeping." Christina countered causing Izzie to glare at her.

"How long do you think he's known?" Izzie asked.

"That might have been why Meredith avoided him after she found out his name when she first started here." George commented.

"Oh that right." Izzie said thinking back. "What if she never told him?"

"Why do you even care why she avoided him or how long he's known?" Mark asked.

"Because he's our friend and he's supposed to tell us everything." Izzie stressed the last word.

"You want to know everything about every one of your friends? Cause there are some skeletons in my closet that are… pretty bad and I doubt you want to know about them." Mark countered with a satisfied grin.

"Shut up." She said glaring at him. "You are just as mad as I am he never told us."

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"How is she doing, Bailey?" He spoke slowly into the phone.

"She's on her second round of treatment and her third bag of blood. Her stats are up but not quite normal." She looked back at Meredith before looking back at Richard who stood on the other side of the glass. "We'll know more within the next hour, but the hazmat guys say that radiation in the room is down to an almost normal level and her blood radiation is almost 100 roentgens."

"That's good, right?"

"She's still classified as having radiation sickness. They said if we can get it down to or below 50 within the next hour she should survive."

"We can do that right?"

"We should be able to as long as her body doesn't start rejecting the treatment. So far everything is looking good."

"Alright, keep me posted."

"I will. Chief?"

"Yes?"

"She'll make it. She's brave and strong. She'll be fine."

"I hope so. She's got a lot to live for." He hung up and looked at Maggie and Alex.

"How is she?" Alex asked.

"She's at about 100 roentgens, but if she gets below or at 50 within the next hour, she should pull through."

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Okay so I have NO clue if any of that is true or not (obviously I'm not an expert on radiation or radiation poisoning nor am I a doctor). But it's sounds good, right? **_


	28. The Light

They sat together outside the room. The worry never seemed to subside or weaken at all. They put on the best front they could, so they kids wouldn't pick up on the worry that they were feeling.

"Alex?" Mark said walking up to him. "Can I talk to you?"

Alex looked at Richard. "Can you…" Richard nodded. "I'll be right back." He said kissing his son's forehead. Carson nodded as Alex stood up and followed Mark to the stairwell.

"Look, Alex, I'm really sorry about what I said. I was really out of line." Mark explained.

Alex nodded. "Carson has enough going on he doesn't need this shit from my friends."

"I know… I'm sorry, okay? It was just… shocking."

"Meredith is in there and might not come out of there. I really didn't give a damn about how you guys felt about me."

"I'm sorry, okay? There isn't much else I can say."

Alex nodded and looked at the ground. "I have to get back there."

Without another word he walked out.

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He stood in the doorway looking through the little window. Maggie was taking Carson and Whitney up to the daycare for the night. It was nearly eight o'clock and Meredith hadn't woken up. Though her radiation levels were lowered greatly, the effect on her small body was still unclear. She had lost a lot of blood. That plus the poison of radiation had taken a toll on many of her organs. He watched Bailey flip through different charts. Nobody other than Bailey were allowed in the room yet. Bailey needed to be sure she was stable before she allowed any family into the room. Though, she had neither crashed nor woken up even though hours had passed.

Minutes seemed to take forever to tick away. He feel back into the chair rubbing his face.

"_Alex?" He heard her call as she shut the front door. "Alex?"_

_He could hear her footsteps up the stairs. She called his name again. The door opened to the dark room. _

"_Alex?" He stood in front of the window. "Alex? What's wrong?" He didn't answer. She walked over and touched his arm. He looked at her blankly. "What's wrong?"_

"_My mom was in an accident." He answered quietly as he walked over to the bed. He sat down and leaned against the headboard. _

"_Oh my god… Is she okay?" She asked sitting beside him._

_He stayed quiet for a second before answering. "She died."_

"_I'm so sorry." She said softly. He stared blankly at the wall. She wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer to her. He laid his head down on her lap. It wasn't long until tears started rolling off his cheeks. She rubbed his back lightly trying to console him quietly…_

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"_Alex!" She called from the door. He smiled at her as he walked over. _

"_Mama, look at me." Carson yelled as he swung high on the swing. _

"_Wow, you're going high." Meredith smiled. Alex kissed her cheek taking her in his arms. "You haven't burned the hamburgers have you?" She joked with a smile._

"_I am offended. Of course I haven't." He kissed her again before returning to the grill. She giggled walking over to the picnic table. _

_She looked around. The day was beautiful. Seattle barely ever had a cloudless day like today. She looked up at the sun. The light burned her eyes. _

"_Meredith? _Meredith? Can you hear me?" A voice came.

She blinked a couple of time as the light came into focus. Her eyes scanned the room before settling on the doctor, but she couldn't speak.

"Don't try to speak. Do you remember what happen?" She nodded lightly. "It was brave of you to stay in that room. Stupid, but brave." Meredith gave her a light smile and nodded.

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Alex rubbed his face shaking the memory from his head.

"Kerev?" Bailey said opening the door.

"Is she okay?" He asked quickly.

"She's awake."

"Can I see her?" He asked standing up. She nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Bailey." She nodded again holding the door open. He walked in as she walked out.

"Mer?" He said softly walking over to the bed. She smiled at him.

"Hey." She said softly.

"Hey." He smiled at her taking her hand. "You scared the crap out of me."

She smiled. "I've always been one to do that kind of stuff."

He laughed lightly brushing the hair out of her face. "Yeah."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as her eyes shut. It took her a second to open the again. "I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Mer." He said kissing her cheek. "I really love you." She squeezed his hand as her eyes shut again. "Get some rest."

"Lay with me." She said softly.

He smiled and nodded. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed into bed. He wrapped his arm around her as she shut her eyes again.


	29. Never Going To Leave

"They look… happy." Izzie said with a trace amount of astonishment as she watched Meredith, Alex, and Carson in Meredith's hospital room the next day.

"Does it surprise you?" Mark asked.

They group turned to look at him. "Yeah, sort of." Christina answered.

"A month or two ago, but Meredith was even here, Alex didn't even know the kid existed." Izzie pointed out.

"But he loves her." Mark shrugged.

"What have you done with the Mark we all know?" George asked giving him a curious look.

"Just leave it alone guys." He shut the chart and walked away.

"That…" Izzie started.

"Was weird." Christina finished shaking her head.

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"Daddy!" Carson laughed as his father chased him around the room. Alex picked him up, laid him on the bed by Meredith's feet, and started tickling him. Carson's laughter filled the air as Meredith joined in. "No more! No more!"

"Say the magic word." Meredith giggled.

"Please! Please!" Carson squealed. Alex stopped tickling him and lifted him into his arms. Carson planted a kiss on his father's cheek. "Thank you."

"Your welcome. Now, give on to Mommy. Give one to Mommy." Alex chuckled at Carson crawled up the bed to Meredith and kissed her twice on the cheek.

"Thank you, Sweetie." She giggled as Carson climbed down to the ground. Alex sat own beside her. "Hey."

He smiled. "Hey." Leaning down, he kissed her soft and sweet on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled leaning her head on his chest.

"Mer?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm never going to leave you."

She looked up and smiled. "You better not."

He chuckled. "I won't." He kissed her. "I promise."

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Short chapter, I know. But I'm going to skip forward quite a bit and I didn't want to mid-chapter. The next chapter is probably going to be the last on. **_


	30. Twenty Years

She looked up at the sky as she walked across the grass. Her finger played with the petals of one of the dozen flowers in her hands. A small smile produced on her face. Twenty years had passed since she was trapped in the room with the radiation patient. It had been twenty years since she almost died and lost the most important things in her life. Those twenty years had been some of the best of her life.

_She smiled at him as tears lined her eyes. _

"_You look beautiful." He mouthed. _

"_Thank you."_

_Her eyes didn't leave his. _

_Maggie didn't stand far away from her. Mark stood on the other side of Alex. Whitney and Carson were sitting in the front row. The basket that had been full of flower petals sat on Whitney's lap. The pillow with the rings sat on Carson's lap. _

_She wore a white wedding gown that was just a little puffy on the skirt. The top part was beaded and sparkly. It was strapless and fit her perfectly. _

_------------------------------------------_

_Her hair was plastered to her face. When Alex decided to get his ass into the room, she was sure to kill him. She went into labor while he was in surgery and they were having problems getting a replacement in there since Mark was in a different surgery at the time. _

"_Where is my husband!?" She screamed._

"_Mer, breathe." Maggie tried to coach._

"_Don't tell me to breathe!" _

"_Okay… Sorry?"_

"_Just get me my damn husband so I can effectively castrate him."_

"_I'm here." Alex panted as showed up in the doorway. _

"_Oh my god!" Meredith screamed as a contraction came over to her. _

_He hurried to her bed to let her squeeze his hand. Big mistake. Pain came over her face as practically broke his hand._

"_Okay, Meredith. You're going to push." The OB/GYN said._

"_Get this baby out of me!" She screamed. _

"_Alright. On the next contraction… Okay… Ready. Push, push, push!" _

_Meredith grunted as she pushed with all her might. _

_---------_

_Twenty minutes later, Meredith was able to relax back against the bed. Alex was able to cut the umbilical cord and official meet his baby girl. Sarah Lynn Kerev. _

_------------------------------------------_

"_My mom is getting married." Whitney sung out. _

_Meredith giggled. "Hold still. I'm almost done."_

"_But can you believe it? She's getting married… to a great guy."_

_Meredith smiled. "I'm so happy for her."_

"_So am I. I'm happy for me. I finally get a dad… or a stepdad, but still as dad."_

"_There." She stepped back and looked at the dress that Whitney was wearing. "Perfect. You look so cute."_

"_Cute? Mer, I'm ten. Not four."_

_Meredith giggled shaking her head. "Don't remind me. That mean Carson is ten and I am old."_

"_Don't worry, Mer. You're not old."_

"_Aw…" Her face turned skeptical. "What do you want from me?"_

_Whitney laughed and hugged her. "I love you, Meredith."_

"_I love you too, Kiddo… Come on we have to be getting out there. The wedding is going to start soon."_

_That day, Maggie became Margaret Hogg-Sloan. _

_------------------------------------------_

"_How come all births must be painful!" Meredith cried out as she a contraction passed. _

"_Mer, it is childbirth. Did you expect a day in the park?" Maggie said before Meredith took a swing at her, but Maggie moved out of the way. _

"_Mags, I hate you." She groaned._

"_Not as much as you hate Alex." A satisfied grin stretched across her face as Meredith glared at her. _

"_Do you need anything, Mer?" Alex asked kissing her forehead._

"_A new vagina!" Meredith said with all the seriousness in the world. _

"_Why? What's wrong with this one? I like this one. We do amazing things…" He said with a cocky smile. _

"_Oh god!" Maggie groaned walking towards the door. "I'm leaving now." _

"_That was mean." Meredith giggled. _

_He kissed her hand. "I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_Only an hour later, they brought Laura Maggie Kerev into the world._

_------------------------------------------_

"_Mom, stop. Seriously, it's fine." _

"_Just hold on." Meredith continued to fiddle with Sarah's dress. _

"_Mom!" _

"_Fine. Okay. I'm done." She stepped back. "My baby's first dance."_

"_I'm not the baby. Laura is." She pointed. _

"_You'll always be my baby."_

"_How are my girls?" Alex asked walking into Sarah's room. _

"_We're fine." Sarah groaned as she disappeared into the closet. "This isn't a family affair."_

"_Nobody said it was." Meredith said rolling her eyes. _

"_Yeah, Carson and Laura aren't here." Alex pointed out as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist kissing her cheek. Sarah came back into the main room and Alex started shaking his head. _

"_What?" Sarah said looking at him confused. _

"_No, you cannot wear that. You are only fourteen."_

"_Dad!" Sarah said in a whiney voice. _

"_It's too…" _

"_Just go, Alex." Meredith said rolling her eyes. "You're being a dad."_

"_Someone has to be."_

"_We'll be out soon." _

"_She can't wear that!" _

"_Out!" Meredith said pushing him out the door shutting the door. Sarah giggled. _

"_Thank you, Mama."_

"_You're welcome, Sweetie."_

_------------------------------------------_

"_The graduates of 2004!!" The speaker called. The crowd cheered. And cameras snapped._

_After a few minutes the new graduates started to file off the stage. Meredith and Maggie headed the group pushing through the crowd to get to Carson and Whitney. _

"_I'm so proud of you!" Meredith said as she hugged her son. _

"_Thanks, Mom." He smiled. _

"_I'm so proud of you, Whitney." Maggie said. _

_The two mothers looked at each other and laughed. _

"_We've gone so soft." Meredith laughed as she wiped a couple tears from her eyes._

"_I'm proud of you, son." Alex said hugging his son. _

"_Thanks, Dad."_

"_Good Job." Mark said hugging Whitney who had become practically his daughter over the years. _

"_Thanks, Daddy." Whitney smile. _

_Sarah and Laura hugged and congratulated the graduates, when some guy walked up to Sarah not notice she was with her family. _

"_Hey." The guy said._

_Sarah took notice of him. He was cut after all. "Hi." She smiled. _

"_You want to go get something to eat after this?"_

"_May…" She started when her father came up beside her. _

"_She's fourteen. Don't come anywhere near her or I'll hurt you." He said casually._

"_Dad!" Sarah yelled turning bright red._

_------------------------------------------_

"_My baby!" Maggie cried sitting beside Meredith in a chair pushed against the wall. _

"_Maggie!" Meredith said rolling her eyes. "Pull yourself together." _

"_She's getting married! She's all grown up… She's twenty-two!... Married, Meredith! She's getting married!" _

"_Yeah, to my son. You don't see me crying."_

"_You're not giving him up."_

"_Are you even hearing yourself right now?" Meredith giggled. _

_Maggie sighed. "No… I know I'm being irrational. I'm very happy." She said pulling herself together. "I love Carson."_

_The door to the dressing room opened and Whitney walked out in a wedding dress that fit her perfectly that she was trying on. Maggie burst into tears again causing Meredith to laugh as she hugged her friend._

_------------------------------------------_

_Tears. Everyone cried as they stood in the dimmed room, but nobody said anything. After so long… After an uphill battle with cancer… she was gone. _

She crouched down at the foot of the stone. Tears rolled off her cheeks.

"Where would I be without you, Mags?" She used her finger to trace her friend's name. "Probably back in Boston with a twenty-four year old son who never knew his father… I'd probably be the loneliest person in the world. I would have never gotten this far if it weren't for you." Reaching up, she wiped her eyes. "I love you more than you probably ever knew."

Carefully she set the flowers down next to the stone. Leaning forward, she kissed her name.

A hand reached out and landed on her shoulder. She turned to see Alex smiling sadly at her. She stood up and hugged him tightly burying her face into his neck. He stroked her arms staring down at the flowers she had laid there.

Mark stood close by his face red as he strained to hold the tears back. Carson held his crying, pregnant wife not far away from his parents. Sarah and Laura stood close by as well.

"I can't believe it's been a year." She said softy through the tears.

"I know, Babe." He whispered kissing her forehead.

"I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Babe."

"I'm so glad we came to Seattle."

He smiled softly. "Let's go home."

She nodded as they turned and started to walk away. Today was especially hard. She had made it through one year without her best friend. The person who had been in her life forever. She looked at Alex and laid her head down on his shoulder. And it all started because they were put in the same room in the hospital. She looked over her shoulder one time at her name knowing that she would return to place new flowers on her grave in a week.

_Margaret Hogg-Sloan _

_Brilliant Attorney _

_Best Mother_

_Wife_

_And friend_

She looked back at Alex and hugged herself closer to him kissing his cheek lightly.

_**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Hope that was a good ending! Yes that sadly was the ending. I'm sad to see this one go. **_

_**So, Meredith, Alex, Mark, and Maggie would be in their fifties in this chapter. Meredith and Alex would have been married for 20 years or so. Mark and Maggie would have been married about 14 years. Carson and Whitney got married (about 2 years ago in this chapter), and they're both 24ish. Sarah would have been 18 or 19. And Laura would have been like 16ish. **_

_**Anyway… The End. **_


End file.
